DARING 2 B U
DARING 2 B U
A JOURNEY TO FORTIFYING FAITH
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When the tides of life swell and the winds howl, where do you anchor your hope? Our guest, Victoria De Loyola, graces us with her extraordinary story of faith's steadfast presence through her life's trials and triumphs. She traces her spiritual roots back to a strong Christian heritage and opens up about the resilience faith provided her, especially during the poignant reunion with her biological father. Her narrative is a mosaic of perseverance, revealing how faith can illuminate our purposes and guide us through the darkest of tunnels.
The episode gently navigates the tumultuous seas of grief and the avenues toward healing, as I candidly recount the profound moments of writing final letters to my late father. The act of penning goodbyes and releasing sorrow through words marked the beginning of my path towards self-forgiveness. Together with Victoria, we discuss the sustenance drawn from prayer, the journey of deepening our spiritual understanding, and the impact of transformation – from the grips of addiction to the promise of recovery. Our shared stories underscore the ongoing nature of healing, with faith as our compass.
Wrapping up our heartfelt exchange, we illuminate the virtues of living as embodiments of God's love and the impact of such a life on those we encounter. From leaving an essence of divine love in our wake to being a beacon of light, we contemplate the weight of our influence and the daily intention to connect those around us to a higher purpose. Embracing our unique selves and the individuality God has bestowed upon us, we urge listeners to take life one day at a time, finding joy and growth in the journey, anchored by faith and purpose.
Fortifying Faith Through Life's Challenges
Speaker 1Everyone welcome to Daring to Be Listen . We are continuing with our theme of fortified faith fortifying your faith . We are walking down the road to journey to greater faith , greater self-awareness and greater God-awareness . So today you are in for a treat . Victoria is going to share with us how her faith has caused her to thrive . She's going to share with us some challenging times along her faith journey , but she's going to share her heart for God and the things of God and how she lives her life , how she lives on purpose . Hello Victoria , hello Dr Kish , how are you today ? I'm doing excellent .
Speaker 2I'm doing well apparently not as great as you and your beautiful sun-shiny yellow here , but I'm all right , I'm doing okay . I'm very blessed to be here . Thank you so much for the opportunity to just share a little bit about my story and my walk . I thank you . It is truly an honor , truly an honor .
Speaker 1Thank you for being here . It's an honor to have you and we're going to get right into it , if that's okay . So let's talk about fortifying faith . First off , tell us about your faith journey and how you started on your faith journey .
Speaker 2Okay , well , my faith journey started before I existed . If I could be wholly honest , my family is one of those families that kind of came out of the church headstrong . My grandmother and my grandfather immigrated here from Jamaica , strong Christian families , coming into Brooklyn , new York , and they had children . Their children were raised in the church , and so was I . My origin story is a little bit complicated , but even with that , I ended up meeting my biological father a few years ago later in life , and it turns out that he was a minister in the church too . So no matter where I'm coming from or whatever branch of the tree I'm looking at , even if it is a surprise branch , god was always in my life and I grew up with that faith and I'm grateful for it , because it has supported me and my journey in every single walk of life that I've had .
Speaker 1How cool is that ? So you've known the Lord . You've been listening , hearing , seeking for a long time . How did you hold on to your faith in times of challenge as a teenager , young adult ? How do you hold on to your faith in times of challenge ?
Speaker 2That is a great question . I hold on to my faith in times of obstacles , because I know that I'm here for a purpose , regardless , like whatever is happening in my life , I can work through it . There is a scripture that I actually was reading earlier today . It is from oh okay , thank you , lord . I have my Bible open . It is from Isaiah 27 . And it says , to sing about a fruitful vineyard I , the Lord , watch over it . I water it continually , I guard it day and night so that no one may harm it . So even in that , to me , that says that God is watching over us . God is the one who is taking care of us in the background , even when we can't take care of ourselves . So what I have ? Those obstacles ?
Speaker 2First and foremost , I know that God has gotten my back . It's all throughout scripture . He is love , he is there for us . He knows that he has a plan for us , not to harm us , but to give us hope and prosperity and a future . That's what he says . And also the purpose that I am here for is greater than me . There are people around me that I am supposed to impact , that God has placed me on this earth to bring closer to him . It is a mission of all of us . We're supposed to spread the good news of the faith and even in that and even when it is difficult for me , I can say wholeheartedly that I can still complete my mission . I can still bring people towards the faith if I just have the right perspective , if I remember how strong and how loving and how supportive of a God God will always be and has been from the time I first opened my eyes .
Speaker 1Yes , yes , I remember years ago . My pastor then used to always talk about going back to your faith file and looking at being able to look at what God has done before , what he's brought you through before , and using that to fuel your faith . And so give us some specific examples of how your faith has guided you through a difficult season . Describe one of those seasons for us .
Speaker 2That , firstly , is very important . What your pastor brought up . I think that it's through the testimonies that we recall that bolsters our faith and helps us to keep going . That's so important , so thank you for bringing that up . I guess the last time that I truly prayed through a really difficult situation was last night with my dishwasher , because it is so cheap and it does not wash all of the dishes correctly . So I had to pray my way through washing all the dishes . But , to be serious , before I brought my husband down into the kitchen and I kicked that dishwasher , one of the greatest obstacles or a hardship that I did have was with oh actually , since we're on the topic , with my biological father .
Speaker 2First and foremost , the person who I call dad and my biological father are two different people . My dad raised me and he is a wonderful , wonderful man and I'm not giving any discredit to him . But with my biological father , as I mentioned , I met him later on in life , in my 20s , and it was great . I had no reason or want to meet him . I was told that he existed somewhere out in the world because my entire life surrounded my dad , the person who I consider my dad today . When I met him . We met each other . He was at the airport with a balloon saying it's a girl on it , and my stepmom , his wife , was there and we were all crying . It was a beautiful moment of just acceptance and love and it was a preview of what was to come for the next few years , because he opened the door and all of my family on that side my siblings , who I love , aunts , uncles all of them wholeheartedly opened the way for me to be a part of that family , even if I hadn't had the experiences that my siblings that came out of that family did have before . So , that being said , I learned a great deal about him . He was a pillar of the community . This man was a firefighter . I have a firefighter biological father who is saving lives on a regular basis . Let's talk about that . Oh my gosh , that blew my mind . There's that the stories he would tell . He was also a mentor for a lot of teenage boys in the area and he knew everybody in the city . You cannot turn a corner when you're walking with him without somebody being like oh hey , how you doing , oh , it's nice to see you again , and him just racking up a conversation . He was that kind of person .
Speaker 2So , that being said , it was very hard all around a few years later to learn that he had colon cancer and even though he got better for a time , it came back and a few years later he passed away . Still hurts to this day , I tell you , still hurts . But I really had to wrestle with that because I asked God a number of times why would you bring me into this situation , into such a loving and beautiful environment and family and learning about the potential of who I am ? Finally , after a lot of years of feeling a little bit like a black sheep , where I was I felt different , but it kind of stamped once I met this family or met my family . Why would you put me through this , take him away ?
Speaker 2And it was to the point I remember his home going service . There are no seats left , there's not one . It was standing room only and there was at least 50 people against the back wall to honor him and to honor his memory and what he did for the community when he was going through chemo sorry , when he was going through chemo . Even in those moments when he could barely sit up for 30 or 40 minutes because he was just so tired . He was so tired he couldn't even hold a conversation . He was holding his oxygen tank , trying his hardest to be with us on Christmas morning , and I'm in a totally different state , so I can only see him . I'm in college , I can only see him once every few years , and even those moments were small , few and far between .
Speaker 2But I heard stories about how he would be training the up and coming firefighters for what they had to do , and men who were men or women , but it was mostly the men that he would be ministering to . Some of them ended up in his exact situation . So he would be on the phone two o'clock in the morning , three o'clock in the morning , dead tired , but taking the time to tell them about benefits . This is what's going to happen with the hospital . This is what you need to prepare for with your spouses . This is what you need to save up to make sure that your children are okay . I'm here for your , for emotional support .
Speaker 2Like all throughout , he can barely sit up and he is taking the time to minister to people in his situation and the families of those who have nowhere else to turn . So , and at the same time , this is how crazy and wonderful this guy is . At the same time , he sends me a video of him receiving his certificate for his black belt in karate , because it's something that he always wanted to do and something that he wanted to prove that he could do while he had cancer , while he was going through chemo and before his time was essentially up and his sensei came to the house with this big old certificate in a language that we can't read , and everyone is bawling because he could barely muster the strength to pick it up . And it's like you did it , man . You did it . So , knowing all of these things sum it up to knowing all of these things and to know that he is with God now and no longer with us .
Speaker 2It's bittersweet and going through that whole process was very hard . I felt it in my heart when it happened , but I was in denial because he passed away the day before I was going to visit him to say goodbye . So that was hard . That was very hard and it still is , but I'm getting through it and I got counseling for it . I went to therapy for it and every year although it is hard around this time of year because his homegoing service was in April I am always blessed to understand pieces of why God allowed me to experience that he .
Speaker 2I can almost hear God saying see what you could do . See what the potential is that you have . Do you see how you can impact a community ? Those who came before you are leaving a legacy for you to recognize . You are more than what you think you are . You may not know who you are as a person yet , but look at what you could do , even in the midst of the hardest of hardships , and I think that even in hopelessness , god was showing me that there is a hope and a future for those that you impact , if you just trust in him and you allow yourself to see where he's putting you . Wow , I don't have my tissue , so I'm going to stop that there .
Speaker 1That is so cool .
Speaker 1I love that you got to experience that .
Speaker 1I hate that , you know , when you look on it , it's like I only got to experience that for a short period of time , based on what I would have wanted to experience , like that's something you want to experience for the rest of your life , right ? Right , a similar kind of thing happened to me with my dad , so I can understand that , I can relate and it is a challenge , but I am inspired by the work that you've done to get through it and the perspective that you have that you're able to look and see the greatness . You are able to see not just his greatness , but to recognize the greatness . That is a part of your legacy and you are taking up the mantle . It's like your responsibility . We don't get to experience that kind of love , that kind of greatness , that kind of fullness of life , and let it stop with us , right ? So we have responsibility and calling to live out of the mindset and the space of purpose and influence and we inspire others that we come in contact with , even when we're not trying to .
Speaker 2Right , that's how you get up on this podcast .
Speaker 1Even that , yes , that's how you get up on this podcast because it just emanates from you right , and other people can see it . We've never met face to face , but it comes through .
Speaker 1It comes through and so , wow , that is amazing to know , but it's also as amazing as it is , it's also as challenging to work through it , and so what are some of the things that you've done to work through it ? I know you mentioned like having to go through the process of therapy and all of that . Tell us some of the things that you've done to work your way through it , just even in real , practical ways . It could be journaling , it could be to share with us some of the practical things that you've also done to help yourself to not just to accept it , but to be able to rest in what has happened , the truth of it , but the ability of God to get you through it . What are some of the things you've done to work through that process ?
Speaker 2That's a great question and I , if you may allow me , I would love to know what your answer would be to this question as well , because I feel like we can . You mentioned that you went through something maybe slightly different , but similar in some respects , so I would love to learn from you also and what you've been doing . But one of the things that well , I got , some of the things that helped me through this specific process oh , it was something . Thank you for triggering that memory . I haven't thought about that in a very long time .
Navigating Grief and Healing Process
Speaker 2I wrote a letter .
Speaker 2There were two times that I wrote a letter to my father . The first one was when we had the news like the big news , like we don't think that he's going to be on this earth for a lot longer . So we really need to start considering that and how we want to approach that . I'd only known him for a short amount of time , given all of his life , so I wrote him a letter , basically just kind of saying everything that I would have wanted him to know at that point , like , hey , I think you're a great dad , which I have only known you for a short time , but your children are amazing , they're funny , they're considerate . You're a great dad . I'm glad I got to know you . Thank you for everything you've done . Just kind of listing it Like I want to make sure that he knows that was the first time . Yeah , the second time was after he passed away , because when someone leaves this earth , I feel like there's always some , there's always a lingering of items that if it were a different situation , this is exactly what I would have said .
Speaker 2So , I wrote out my hurt on a piece of paper and that thing was . It was long . I feel like it was between myself , my father and God to a certain extent . Like this is how I really feel . This is such poop right now . I don't know what to do , but I'm trying to put it lightly . And I took that piece of paper and I threw it right inside of our fireplace , lit it on the fire . I said , all right , I'm not going to linger here in this hurt . I have a lot more to do . I have felt the feelings . I have said what I want to say .
Speaker 2God has heard me a bajillion times on a record playback , like he knows what I'm feeling in my heart too as well . So at this point I am making the decision to move forward and not feel guilty about it . So that's what I did . That was one of the things , and also just plain old prayer . I need to be connected to God . I need to have that regular touching base to make sure that even in those hard times and in those obstacles , I am aligning with his will , because he knows what comes after the hurt . He knows what comes after we calm down . He knows what the best choice and what our best paths are moving forward .
Speaker 2So every day I try to make it a habit to pray , even on my way to work . I will sit and look crazy in my car talking to myself , but I am having a conversation between me and my Jesus . I will see you in the conference room in 10 minutes . I will have those conversations and I will also make it a point to learn more about God . So I learned about spiritual temperaments recently , different ways that people feel connected in different ways through nature , through speaking , through justice , and one of the things that helps me is learning more , doing research , looking at Hebrew and how the initial intention is supposed to come across , about how God really is , and just learning more about him . That really makes me feel connected .
Speaker 1Wow , oh , that is , you're speaking my language . So when I was in seminary , working on my master's of Divinity degree , I had to take a semester of Hebrew and I took two semesters of Greek right , and so it's not like I can sit and read it .
Speaker 1I can't , but I can . I even brought the logo software right so I can go through and look at . Yes , I love it , and so it helps me to understand God more intimately and so I really love doing that . So you hit me right there . But , to answer the question , I actually am still working through it as well , because I don't think it's something that is over and done with .
Speaker 1You enter into spaces of grief in different seasons and it just shows up . Grief is not the most considerate because , listen , listen , it shows up in inconvenient moments , right , yes , but I've done a lot of the same things that you have done . I've written letters and I probably write a letter once a year now , and it's not sad . It may be something that a memory comes up , because the greatness of the time that I had with my father was that when I was a little girl , up until I was 12 and a half , close to 13 , my dad was an IV drug user . That's what I grew up with domestic violence , all of that . I mean it was horrible . He was a horrible person when I was growing up because he was so bound in addiction , but he decided to get clean . And when I tell you , he got clean , he got clean and he worked that process . He moved away from environments where he was going to be tempted and moved out to the country . He got clean , he worked and enjoyed life . He golfed . That became his new drug golf .
Speaker 1So for about the last 15 years of his life because he died of cancer in 2016 , we had an amazing relationship and I was able to forgive him . I was able to really embrace him and help him to not struggle with that shame and to come to know that God loved him and God had forgiven him , and so had we . And so , even though he and my mom got divorced way back then because of the domestic violence piece and all the things , they became really great friends . They were like best friends , and so it was just wonderful to be able to extend that grace and that forgiveness and for him to fully embrace that and smile and live and recognize that we loved him and we knew he loved us . And so , yeah , all of us my brother , myself , my mom , my daughter were able to see a different person emerge , and I take joy in that .
Speaker 1But I went through that struggle of why did he have to leave . Why did he have to get cancer ? Why did he have to die ? He only got to really live the way that he wanted to for not a long time . So I struggled with that , because he actually told me about the cancer in July of 2016 . And he died in September 2016 . And so I was like God , that's not enough time . But one of the things I realized is that I got to experience the beauty of who he was and to embrace him with a different kind of love , and he did me as well , and one of my favorite pictures I have is I'm sitting on the couch with him and he couldn't . He was in so much pain , he couldn't really sit up for long periods . I mean , he couldn't get any relief . He was in so much pain . But he wanted to take a picture with me , and so we're holding hands and I'm leaning with my head on his shoulder and he's smiling and I'm smiling . Oh , that's beautiful . Yeah , that's beautiful .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1And so , for me , the one thing that has really helped me is that that's something I never thought I would experience , and it's something that I really wanted all my life with my dad , and so for him to be able to give that to me , it's kind of where I've been able to hang my hat and say God , I thank you for the time that you gave us , because that restoration is a beautiful thing . Oh , you cried . It's OK , I am , I'm the thing's happened . I told you I did have no tissue .
Speaker 2Oh my goodness , she was not ready . She was not ready . Oh man , I don't mean to interrupt you , it's OK . It's a beautiful memory .
Speaker 1But that's how I work through it . Like I hang on to the beautiful memories , I journal , I write letters , I talk to them out loud , like I work through it . And some seasons are harder and more challenging . Every September I start getting discouraged and the grief comes , but I work my way through it . I trust that God knows exactly what he's doing .
Speaker 1And , although I would have wanted more time , I remember the time that I had and I remember him working so hard to make sure that he did what he needed to do to stay free from addiction for the rest of his life and I honored him in that . So that was one of the ways that I was able to connect with him better , and it's also one of the things that I use in my everyday walk , having that same grit and tenacity and determination , and it helps me dig myself out of the places of despair sometimes when I am experiencing that grief . And there are things that I do that are kind of reminders of him that my mom always talks about , like he had this way that he would smile , and I'll do that unknowingly . So there are things that remind me that I carry him with me . So those are the things that I hold on to in my journal . And before he , when he was a different person , he did a whole lot . He was extra , extra .
Speaker 1Yeah , he was extra , but he was a handsome guy right and he was charismatic , so Papa was a Rolling Stone . I have 10 , 10 of us , so yeah .
Speaker 2I can relate . We have a Rolling Stone we talk about with our baby uncles and such , so I get it . How old is our uncle now ? I think he's three . Oh , good for him , he's a hawk . Yeah , I know it's kind of oh yeah , I just I hold on to those things , yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1So what are some of your everyday rituals , your prayer journaling or whatever that helps you to stay focused and determined ?
Speaker 2Oh , everyday rituals . Well , some of them I kind of mentioned before . So I need my . If I'm going into work , I remind myself we're here for a purpose , no matter what's going on . I'm here for you . Lord , tell me what I need , give me the wisdom , the intelligence for today .
Pillar of God's Love and Light
Speaker 2I often ask God . I try on a regular basis to ask Him to make me be a a pillar of his love , like a pillar of light of his love . So there's this word I came across that stuck with me . I think it's called siage . I don't know exactly how to pronounce it . It's a French word . It's , I think , spelled S-I-L-L-A-G-E and , if I'm not mistaken , it refers to the cloud of perfume and mist that stays there once you spray the bottle . So I ask God daily , like let your love be a siage after me whenever I leave a space , because it's about more than me . It's about making sure that you resonate , cause you never know , like you never know , the person who you're standing next to in the elevator Could be going through some of the things that we've been going through .
Speaker 2They could be on their last leg . Perhaps their father just passed away , maybe they're subconsciously looking for a sign that they should be holding on to even being here in the first place . So what you say , what you do , the things that you act , the words that are coming out of your feelings , like we can , there's a choice between feeling and reacting . Those are two different things . So the way that you respond makes a ton of difference . So I make it a point to ask the Lord to change all of that , transform me in this day so that all that is left behind is you , Is your love , is your care , is your compassion .
Speaker 2I've had , I remember , one time where this , really this , really hit home for me . I was at work . I was helping to serve some up and coming doctors at the time they were taking an exam and I was there to help and one of them stopped me midway through my workday routine making sure everything is okay , just technical , technical , technical . And she pulled me aside and she said I saw you . I saw you maybe two weeks ago helping out a group of high schoolers at the snack machine because they didn't have anything to pay with and you paid for them all and I wanted to let you know that that impacted me and I wanted to say thank you . I , where were , where was she ? You never know who is watching you .
Speaker 2I always I think about , sometimes , like someone mentioned , if someone were to follow you from the time that you wake up to the time that you lay back , lay your head back down on a pillow can you fully say that you would be able to lead a person to Christ based on that day , based on everything that you did when they were watching you , everything that you did , every mannerism that you made , the way that you talked about people when they left your conversation afterward to other people , like what example are you giving ? How are you connecting the people around you to God ? Are you doing that ? Are there times when you're not doing that ? And that's it's crazy to think about ? But God truly wants us to be lamps that can't be hidden . We're supposed to be the lights of this world . We're supposed to be unique . We're supposed to be different . We're supposed to be that positive influence and sometimes it brings a little pressure , but it's good to remind yourself of that day by day in those types of rituals , because that sets you up to be a better person , to be greater than you may have been when you woke up that morning .
Speaker 1Oh , I love that
Living Out God's Love and Grace
Speaker 1Cause . What I really hear you saying is that faith is not just about what you say , it's about what you do and we embody the message right . We don't just read the Bible , we embody the message and people should see the message of what's written in the pages in our lives . So we become , as Apostle Paul says , living epistles , as he says in the word . We're living epistles , we are the word , an extension of the living word . Christ is the living word , right , and we're an extension our hands and feet , our bodies , the way we show up right In the world . So I love that , because what you described is to embody the message of God's love and to allow that to flow through us .
Speaker 2Right , even the word says they'll know us . I'm sorry , go ahead .
Speaker 1Oh , go ahead , no go ahead .
Speaker 2Go ahead . No , I was just gonna mention the word also says that like they'll know us by our love . So there is a call to that . It's not just a hey , this would be great if we could possibly be kind to each other . Let's just not be meanies , but it's like that is a calling of ours that we're called to complete , because that's how we make an impact . That's how people recognize where this is coming from . They're all over the place .
Speaker 2I've run into people and have you ever looked at a person or had an interaction with the person and said they've gotta be believer and not even have Jesus be in the vocabulary of the conversation ? Like ? I had a gentleman in my house the other day . He was just fixing a lamp and I said he has got . There is no way that he does not have Jesus Christ in his life , because everything that he did exuded love and care and just a faithfulness to his work and the way that he treated people . That it was undeniable . And then he , further along a conversation , he happened to mention a small snippet of a hymn and I caught it . I said I knew it . I knew it . You didn't think that I knew , but I got you . Praise the Lord . God bless you all your journey , sir . Thank you . So it's that impact . Is that impact we are called to have ?
Speaker 1Yes .
Speaker 2Every day . I love that .
Speaker 1I think , when we began to process our faith that way and not just about , because one of the things that really bothers me is that sometimes we can get to the place in today's society where it's actually kind of promoted more for us to focus on tangible things that we get in our lives and even to begin to process our relationship with God through the lens of what we get from him , and that's all .
Speaker 1And so I love that you're speaking about faith that does not just receive , but faith that gives because of what you have received from him , and so I think that one of the things that it's important for us to recognize is the importance of perspective and our faith journey and always hanging our hat on who God is and what God has said about God in the word , rather than trying to process him through the lens of our circumstances , and that's what I've heard you speak about remembering what he says about himself , remembering what you've seen him do in your life before , remembering his compassion , remembering that grace , and so I feel like , before we leave , that I would just like for you to encourage someone who feels like , well , maybe I just really messed up too much or I don't really know how to approach this God of yours Cause , yeah , I've done some crazy stuff in my life and I haven't been the most loving person .
Speaker 1So speak to someone like that , who is struggling to believe that the love of God and compassion of God , the grace of God , god's mercy , can meet them where they are , share with them in this moment .
Speaker 2Okay . So this individual is not really connecting , or does it really see the love and compassion of mercy of God ? Well , the first thing I would say is have you tried him ? He you know like , test and see . Like , if you tried , if you really took the time to say you know what I'm gonna believe , that I believe for a month , for two months , for three months , and we'll see what happens . World of difference . So that would be my first question have you tried him yet ? Secondly , I would say that God , as I said before , god , really has a plan for you .
Speaker 2You do not know what is to come a year from now , two years from now , 10 years from now . You are in this season where all you can think about is what you allow yourself to see . But there's more possibility . It's not a wall , it's shutters . You gotta open the blinds . You gotta look beyond what is harming you or what you feel there is no coming back from , and trust that there is a nugget of potential in there .
Overcoming Challenges and Finding Joy
Speaker 2So when I was younger , I grew up in a I'm not gonna put all the business out there , but I grew up in a very challenging household . It was to the point where I had fully recreated who I was as a person so that other people could be comfortable . I needed to survive the space I needed to protect the egos of those who did not like who I was as a person . So to get through those seasons and I was small , I was young , like all the way through up to maybe like 21-ish I had recreated myself and when you are living with year after year after year after year of being told that basically , the person who you are is only is nothing but a detriment , you begin to believe that you are worthless as a person . And there was a time when I seriously considered not being on this earth anymore . I was staring at the pill bottles , I had them in my hand and I said what's the point ? What is the point ? What is the point ?
Speaker 2Thankfully , as my voice creaks like it did that day , thankfully I had fallen asleep right on that couch and actually prayed that it was only a coincidental nap and that I wasn't going to die . That day I felt like there might have been more in store for me and I felt the smallest prick , the smallest , teeniest prick of you won't get to experience what I have in store for you . You won't get to see it if you're gone . As I'm falling asleep on the couch , the smallest little angling . And that changed my world forever . Because , absolutely right , I tell my husband this like on a regular basis , at least once a month .
Speaker 2If I would have died that day , I would not have seen this , I wouldn't have gotten to hug you that day , I wouldn't have met my biological father , I wouldn't have the siblings that I have today , I wouldn't be on this podcast with you , I wouldn't be comfortable with the person that God truly made me out to be . I wouldn't have the chance to do that if I stopped there in that season . And what a shame , what a shame that would have been to have not gotten the chance to see all that , or even contemplating that it would have been worth it to just try . So I would absolutely , absolutely say to that person you gotta try it for yourself . You have to know that there are people waiting for you to get it together , that there are moments that you will never have the opportunity to see .
Speaker 2If you keep yourself here , of course . Feel your feelings , do what you need to do , put in the work . Absolutely . It's what you feel is not a figment of your imagination , I get it , but within that , what more does God have for you ? Think about it . The possibilities are endless . And you don't wanna live a life , that's just okay . You wanna have a great life , you wanna have a fulfilling life , and if that's even an option , I would suggest that they try and take that .
Speaker 1Yes , yes , try Jesus .
Speaker 2Try Jesus . That's what my grandma used to say try Jesus , just the teaspoon will get you through right now . Okay , yes , it .
Speaker 1And the more you open yourself up to him , the bigger he becomes in your life . And even when we have challenges that seem insurmountable , like it's obstacles that it seems like at different times we feel like we can't get over it , we can't go around it . And that is true , because some things you just have to go through right . But your words remind me and hopefully someone else who will watch this or hear this , that we can decide , we can make a choice to grow through what we go through Right , and God will help us with that right . He's not . You know , I remember in cartoons it was always like they would have this big lightning bolt come down from the sky . Somebody did something wrong and it's like , yeah , that's cartoons , that's not . God is not looking to strike you dead , he's got it . He wanted you to be dead , you wouldn't be here . So every day is another chance .
Speaker 2Every day . Every day you're here shows that you're not done yet and God's not through with you yet .
Speaker 1Yeah , I had my bishop back home used to always say that he says , if you're not dead , god's not done , and so it's important to remember that it's the small things , and God will use everything , even the things that are most challenging to us , in order to cause us to be strengthened , right , to realize the strength that we have , and to remind us that he's always there . He has never left us alone . He will never leave us alone , and so what we need , he always makes sure that we have . And so I think you're right , it's a matter of perspective , because I can be mad because I didn't get it the way that I wanted , or I can be grateful that it came . The choice is up to me .
Speaker 1So I just hear so much of what you're talking about is leaning into the truth of who God is and being willing to have a perspective that changes , that doesn't focus on the challenge so much that you become paralyzed , but focuses on your capacity to overcome it , your capacity to get through it by leaning on God and by taking it one day at a time .
Speaker 1I love that you give us permission , through what you say , through your story , what you've shared with us , you give us permission to feel the feelings , and feel them fully , but to not stay there , and I think sometimes that's where we get stuck . We get stuck in what we feel and we make what we feel the truth , versus making what God says the truth . So thank you for sharing that with us . Of course , I think that one of the things that I want us to do before we find out is to share something that brings you joy and shares something that you know will bring others joy , cause joy is a part of our faith . Joy fortifies us in hard times . So share with us something that brings you joy and something that might also bring joy to other people .
Speaker 2Oh my gosh . See , I'm a cheap date so I can't think of something super deep . I would say that something that brings me joy that's such a great question . Something that brings me joy is there's so many things , so many things out there . Well , a big one is being an observer of someone else receiving joy . So say , somebody is having a birthday party or something , or you see a mom with her kid and the kid's waiting for the dad to come out , or something like that , and you observe that from across the street . Just the joy that lights up on their face . It lights up my face . Oh , that's such a beautiful moment . We love that for you . Yes , that is something that brings me joy , along with ice cream . I love ice cream . It has to be the good kind , the cheapy kind , with the wooden spoon . It'll fill the cracks temporarily . But if you give me a good homemade creamery tablespoon , man , nothing like it , straight from the cow . May God bless cows on this earth .
Speaker 2But something that brings others joy besides the wonders of dairy watching others light up .
Speaker 2When you come in the room , hearing something click for other people , when you're having a conversation and you mention a point , noticing the contact and the connection that another person is purposefully trying to have with you , like we're doing right now , like I love how present and engaging and loving you are , and everything that you both recall and ask , like there is an intention there that is both humbling and joyful within that , and I think that that's a gift that God has blessed you with it , because not everybody's there , especially in this day and age , when we're so distracted by the small things and we have a lot of technology and a lot of news and a lot of updates and a lot of people that we're trying to follow or trying to fill their footsteps in ways that we really can't because we weren't meant to .
Speaker 2It's the spaces , like the space that you have created for me and for everyone who is on your platform , that brings about a heart and a wellness and a joy that they wouldn't have the opportunity to have otherwise . So I really thank you for you , for being a source of joy to everybody who's hearing this today .
Speaker 1Thank you . You are so filling me with joy . Right now . I'm overwhelmed because there's a beauty of perspective that you have , that you carry with you and it just flows . It just emanates from who you are . I can't wait till we have an opportunity to meet face to face .
Speaker 2Yes , I'm going to hug you so hard . I'm sorry in advance . It's happening .
Speaker 1And it comes through . It comes through . We're a part of a cohort together and we work on personal development stuff and all of that . And I invited Victoria because you can see the beauty , the joy , the perspective even though you're not in the same room with her . You can see it in the chat when we're in our cohort on Zoom , you can see it in the chat , you can see it in postings that she makes on social media . So to be able to see someone's heart she's not a person who is . Sometimes people can just throw on the platitudes , right , because that is the churchy thing to do or something like that but there's a genuine joy and a genuine expression of compassion and love that comes from you and I am so glad that you decided to say yes , because this has blessed my whole entire life . Today , the feeling is mutual .
Speaker 1It reminds me to go in the spirit of joy and to lead with love and compassion . So thank you for being here with me today and for encouraging someone and reminding them that God is there and God is faithful . Just try , jesus .
Growth Through Faith and Purpose
Speaker 1One day at a time , and he's going to not necessarily always change the situation in the way that we would like to , but he will change us right .
Speaker 1And we will grow and we will be better for it , and so your message today shows up in how you showed up to let your light shine and let God have his way , because purpose is so much bigger than us , so much greater than us . Thank you for sharing with us today . Anything else you want to say to close us out ?
Speaker 2Try Jesus , that works and that's curious .
Speaker 1That is how you fortify your faith every day . Thank you for being here and thank you for watching , for listening . We hope that you are encouraged and that you will be mindful to dare to be yours and to be you , the you that God intended . Thank you , see you next time .