DARING 2 B U
DARING 2 B U
SHIFTING MINDSETS EMPOWERING WOMEN with Dr. Latisha & Tiffany Santana
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
When Tiffany Santana walks into a room, you can feel her determination to enact change—a sensation that electrifies our latest podcast episode. As the Executive Director of Bethany House of Northern Virginia, Tiffany shares a powerful narrative of triumph over domestic violence, detailing the transformation of victims into victors, including one extraordinary woman whose journey led her full circle, from receiving aid to providing it within the organization. Our conversation with Tiffany isn't just a recount of success stories; it’s a deep exploration into the holistic support systems that are pivotal in rebuilding the lives of women and children nationwide. We untangle the complexities of self-worth and the societal perceptions that often hold women back, discussing how Bethany House facilitates a renewal of purpose through counseling, group work, and spiritual guidance.
This episode doesn't just present challenges; it offers solutions, hope, and a clear call-to-action. We dive into the future vision for Bethany House, emphasizing educational outreach and the role of faith-based organizations in confronting domestic violence. The importance of facing this issue collectively, including the often-overlooked necessity of rehabilitating abusers, is a cornerstone of our talk, outlining the transformational impact of court-mandated programs. For those moved to join the cause, we share how each contribution, whether it’s through donations, volunteering, or spiritual support, is a crucial step toward ending the cycle of abuse. Concluding with a heartfelt expression of gratitude, we highlight the undeniable influence of community and compassion in healing, reminding our listeners of the blessings and profound purpose found in service to others.
Empowering Women
Speaker 1Welcome , welcome , welcome . Today we are talking about shifting mindsets and empowering women . Welcome to Daring to Be . I'm your host , Dr Cherise Henry , and today we're going to just jump right into it . We have an amazing sister with us today . She is phenomenal . She offers a wealth of knowledge and wisdom . She allows the Holy Spirit to use her and she leads women with the spirit of excellence and a heart of compassion . Welcome to our sister , Tiffany Santana . Welcome to Daring to Be .
Speaker 2Thank you so much for having me . I really appreciate being here and I'm excited .
Speaker 1And I'm excited as well , so we're going to jump right into it . How about sharing with us what you do and how you became involved in the passion work that you do ? Tell us a little about you .
Speaker 2I am the executive director of Bethany House of Northern Virginia , which is a 44-year-old Christian ministry that empowers women and children escaping domestic violence by providing safe short-term housing and trauma-informed services , and I got involved with Bethany House in 2013 . I started a business with my husband and we decided that we wanted to tithe a day of time to an organization each week . Bethany House became the organization . I started there and never stopped , so I volunteered every Wednesday for a long time and then got more and more involved with the organization , and in 2021 , the executive director at the time had to leave suddenly , so they asked me to step in as an interim for six months , and it's December 2023 . I'm still here , so I'm just honored to be able to work in this capacity for this organization that I've loved for a really long time .
Speaker 1Wow , that's amazing . That's amazing . So that really shows your heart for community , your heart for women and just you leading with compassion , you and your husband , and serving others . So kudos to you all . Share with us some of the stories that you hear and specific ways that your organization is working to empower women , both in your context and in the broader context , in the broader community .
Speaker 2Well , one thing that I do love about being here at Bethany House we are a non-jurisdictional organization . Typically , domestic violence shelters and intervention programs are locally funded by the government and because of that , residents who live in that area are the only people who can access that specific facility . So because we're privately funded , we receive women from all over the country and sometimes from out of the country , new residents to the country , and so we have been really fortunate to be able to help women who come to us from everywhere . One specific woman that is really one who's close to my heart is a woman who came to us from West Virginia and we're in Northern Virginia , near DC , and she drove eight hours . She put as much as she could into her truck and her three children and she traveled to get to us with everything that she could carry and was escaping a really traumatic , violent relationship , violent in every way . Her significant other was involved in human trafficking , he was involved in substance abuse , he was involved in child pornography . He controlled everything that she did , he surveilled her everywhere she went , he had access to her computer , access to tracking her Just the awful situation . And so she was able to come to us .
Speaker 2She really coordinated with us to get here and she got here and hit the ground running . She got her kids into school here . She started working with our counselors here and getting really involved in the life advancement program and that we offered . She got a job and now , almost three years later , she's on our staff . She just really worked hard and wanted to give back . She started working for another organization first and we had an opening here and I kind of nudged her to come this way . So now she's working with us helping other women to get free , and so that's the kind of work that we get to do to empower women . We have a very comprehensive program . We don't just provide shelter , we provide just about anything a woman needs to get herself back onto her feet after leaving abuse .
Speaker 1Wow , that's so rich and so necessary . I think that a lot of times people don't realize all it takes to be able to give wraparound service so that people are able to grow and flourish in every area of their lives , because it's like starting all over again . Yeah , so how do you think society's perception of women has changed over the years and what role do you believe that you or your organization can play and advancing further to change and shift the narrative of some of the negative stereotypes that go along with domestic violence and women who are fleeing those kinds of situations ?
Speaker 2I love that question . I think that society's perception of women is changing in a lot of ways . We see women now moving into roles that were typically dominated by men politics , leading businesses , moving up in administration , and education that was typically run by men . Women were in the classrooms , but men were running the administration . So we're seeing things shift and we're seeing women move into roles that were traditionally they were locked out of them . So I think a lot of times , society's perception of women is changing .
Speaker 2Here's the thing , though I'm not sure that women's perceptions of themselves are changing as a rapid thing , but no , I feel like we still battle with low self-esteem and low self-worth and comparison , all of these things that keep ourselves bound . And so part of what we do at Bethany House is we really work on mindset , and we do that through several different avenues . We offer individual counseling . Every woman who comes to us is assigned a counselor that she has one-on-one counseling with . But we also have groups so that women can work in community to work through some of the trauma that they've experienced , reframe their perceptions about healthy relationships , learn boundaries , learn the value of self and self-worth , and , because we're a Christian organization , they get Bible study . There's a chaplain that provides them with spiritual support , and so we really focus on making sure that women understand their unique design , why they're here , why they're valuable and I think when that happens number one it helps you to make better choices in relationships .
Speaker 2Number two , it breaks that generational curse of violence that very often goes down in generational lines . So when we can get to women and their children here and provide them with the care and support that they need , that next generation abuse stops because they understand those tools that they need to really love and value themselves and to be good contributors to the rest of society . So it's exciting work , it's very fulfilling work . I think it's work that we need to do across the board with women , especially because we raise children , because we're so responsible for the next generation and its development . I just I'm really passionate about making sure that women know their worth and know their value and understand that they have a contribution to make .
Speaker 1Oh , that's good . I remember , even as a child , growing up with domestic violence at home . It's hard to overcome those mindsets and so it's great that you all are doing so much work around mindset and helping women and even children to renew their minds , because that's very important . What do you see could be some of the biggest challenges that you're aware of that women face in their efforts to overcome and embrace the empowerment that you all provide ? What are some of the challenges that you see there ?
Speaker 2I think just what you talked about , because so much of what we learn about ourselves and our lives comes from our family background and because our parents are our first teachers . A lot of what we learn is from them , and parents do the best they can . Sometimes they don't do the best they can , but they're the first , they're the first education that we get , and so a lot of the challenge is helping women to unlearn bad patterns , helping them to unlearn destructive mindsets and then relearn them . That's a huge challenge , because a lot of what women are learning in the home is also reinforced in society and in their communal circles , and so that's a huge challenge for us Helping women , education and getting them all kinds of education financial education , spiritual education , formal education is huge , because very often in these relationships everything's controlled by the abuser , whether it's their finances or even spiritual control and abuse that happens .
Supporting Women's Empowerment and Overcoming Challenges
Speaker 2And so it's also a challenge helping women to see that they can do something , they can support themselves , they can start a new career , they can get educated . Some women come to us fully set as far as education is concerned , because domestic violence is widespread and non-discriminatory . We have professors , we have people who have never been to school before , but showing women and helping them to see that they can start over . It's never too late to build a new life . That can be a challenge . It's something that we take head on . We're excited to tackle that challenge . But those types of things unlearning unhealthy familial patterns and learning that you can build a future for yourself are bigger challenges for us . But we embrace those challenges because they're necessary .
Speaker 1Okay , okay , share with us what future plans and initiatives that your organization may have to kind of help do some mindset shifting , to encourage other people to join the work , even supporting women's empowerment .
Speaker 2We have been very intentional over the past couple of years and we'll expand it more about it offering our services to the community , to people in the community who have experienced violence , but also to people in the community who need to be educated about domestic violence . We are very intentional in the next two years about working with churches and specifically with pastors , because domestic violence is everywhere , even in the church , but very often it's very difficult for church leaders to open those conversations about domestic violence . It's very difficult often to counsel people because domestic violence is so nuanced , and so we really want to do a lot more work with churches to help churches to navigate domestic violence in a way that's constructive and in a way that will ultimately help people to grow their relationship with the Lord , to find reconciliation , to heal God's way . So that's one initiative that we're really focused on over the next couple of years . We're also expanding our community support . That's something that we started last year . Our community support groups have skyrocketed . They have taken off . We wanted to make sure that our vision is to eliminate domestic violence one family at a time , and when I took over in leadership , we were really only focused on the women that were in our house and I felt like , if we had that broad of a vision , we needed to get out into the community and provide this education and this care and the support to people who are experiencing domestic violence , who aren't in our residential program . So we've started groups like recovering from traumatic and toxic relationships , domestic violence 101 , so many different support groups that help people to work through the trauma of abuse , who may not be in a residential program or who are still thinking about coming out of abuse , who are still in the heat of it .
Speaker 2And another initiative that I'm really excited about is working with courts .
Speaker 2I want to serve abusers as well , and we don't talk a lot about that . But if you want to eliminate domestic violence , one family at a time , you can't exclude the abuser , and as Christians , we believe in redemption and we believe in forgiveness , but we also know that repentance is necessary . And so we want to work with courts because we believe that court mandated help is probably the first way that abusers would come to us . And we want to work with abusers because most of the time , people are abusive because they've experienced abuse and trauma themselves , and I don't think that people want to be abusive . I think that's what they know , and so we really want to focus on helping abusers to heal and to become productive members of our society as well , and to have healthy relationships as well , because that's another issue that we have to tackle if we want to stop generational cycles of abuse . So we have a lot of vision , we have a great team that's committed to it and we have a great community that supports us and doing some of those things .
Speaker 1So tell us how others who may not be a part of your community can support , offer support or assistance or even make donation for the cause . Share that with us , please .
Speaker 2Absolutely so . Finances are always an issue for nonprofits , so that's the best way you can help , and we call our monthly donors or recurring donors heartbeat partners , because living things that don't have a heart beat die , and so we ask our friends , our supporters , our community members to become monthly donors , giving at least $25 a month to Bethany House . And you can visit our website at bhnvorg slash donate , and you can find our donation page there . You can sign up to give a one-time gift or recurring gift , and on that page you'll also find ways to donate in kind items like pantry , items like shampoo and household cleaning items and pots and pans things that women need as they're rebuilding their lives after abuse .
Speaker 2We also need volunteers , and some of the volunteer opportunities that we offer are things that can be done remotely they don't have to be done on site , and so at our website , bhnvorg , you can find information about becoming a volunteer and supporting us in that way . And I also ask for prayers all the time . We believe in prayer . We have a prayer room in our office where staff can go , clients can go and hide away and be with the Lord . We believe in the power of prayer , ask for God's favor and His covering and His protection and His provision over Bethany House . So those are always ways that people can help .
Speaker 1Oh , wow , thank you for sharing that . One of the things I think that you mentioned that really struck me . All of it was wonderful , but it struck me the desire to really train and inform , be connected with churches and pastors to do the work . And so , as someone who's been a staff pastor for many years and work with churches , domestic violence has always been a thing that nobody wants to talk about , but I was always receiving secret messages from people who were enduring such things . So what would you say to a pastor staff pastor , lead pastor , senior pastor what would you say to them that might help them begin to recognize the work that needs to be done ?
Speaker 2I love that question , I would definitely say get help . It's not something that you have to tackle by yourself . Organizations like ours are all over the country . We need more of them , but we're here and we are just over the moon excited to extend ourselves , to help pastors , to walk them through the kinds of discussions to have with members of the church , to walk through how to recognize signs of abuse . Sometimes , when we are shepherding and we're taking care of our people , the Holy Spirit will tell us who's dealing with things , but very often we don't have the language and we don't have the background knowledge to properly support them , and so I would say definitely do research about domestic violence .
Speaker 2Definitely reach out to organizations like ours who can come alongside you and support you in supporting your church members . It's just so important to use our community . We're all the body of Christ . Everything that you need is in the body , and so reach out to others who can support you . Biblically . You know , from a Christian perspective , from a biblical perspective , understanding what we know about our God , understanding what we know about how he wants us to interact with each other , understanding what we know about the importance of the family , the importance of male leadership in the family , we can walk through a pastor with that . So those are things that I would definitely recommend to pastors Be open , be open to learning it's an area that has been largely untapped by churches and so be open to learning new things about this area of support and care for your church members .
Speaker 2It's just , it's something that can be a foothold , I believe , for the enemy , because we don't talk about it and because the enemy loves to work in darkness and in silence , and so the more we can bring this into the light , the more we can have real open , honest discussions about it . I think we can really really make a difference in the body with this particular topic . And one more thing , when we're talking about churches and pastors , unfortunately I've met pastor spouses who have undergone abuse , and it's also important to me to provide a safe place for them as well , to make sure that they know they have a safe place where we can pray for you , we can provide you the support that you need , because that's that's a difficult thing to deal with . You know , being a pastor is a very public thing , and keep in appearances sometimes takes precedence , unfortunately , over overdoing the right things , and so we know it's difficult and challenging for the spouses of pastors as well , so we want to be a support to them also .
Speaker 1Thank you so much for that and thank you for being so open and so willing to be honest . We've encountered that a lot in ministry as well , so being able to have a safe space and a resource that is about you , your health , your healing and working through that process is important . Anything else you would like to offer to our listeners about ways to empower women and those who may do the work of empowering women ?
Speaker 2Just to be cognizant and mindful of the power of words . Words carry life and death , and so be mindful about speaking life to women , be mindful about speaking life to everybody , but specifically women . I think that's so important . I think sometimes we speak very flippantly , and the Lord checked me on that some years ago and he told me that my words don't even belong to me , that I have to steward the words he gives me , and so empowering women through what you say to them and how you encourage them and how you compliment them , compliments and blessings , it's just so important . I think we as providers have to be prayed up , we have to be studied up , we have to know the word , we have to strengthen our own relationship with the Lord so that we can be sensitive to how the Holy Spirit moves us when we deal with people and when we're supporting people . I just think that's so important . And also , being a community , I have a good friend of mine who leads another nonprofit and one of the things that she shared with me and it stuck with me is being abundance minded .
Speaker 2We all have so much work to do . Lean on your brothers and sisters who are providing support to women . Make sure that you are reaching out and connecting . We are not in competition with each other . We complete each other in the work that we do , and so it's really important to make sure that you reach out to other people who are doing the same thing , even if it's just to be a listening ear or to be a sounding board . It's just so important .
Speaker 2This work that we do is not easy , and we are a small minority across the world who does nonprofit work , who does ministry work , and so being abundance minded , seeing the places where you have synergy with other people and other ministries , and sharing and whether it's sharing things , whether it's sharing information , whether it's sharing supporters being abundance minded is so important , because there's just too much work to do for us to be trying to keep our own little corner of the world over here separate from everything else and trying to compete with other people . There's enough of everything to go around . There is enough work , there are enough resources , even though sometimes it doesn't seem like it , there are enough resources . Our God is a God of plenty , and so I would definitely recommend , if you support women's empowerment , that you work with other women to empower other women . It's just essential .
Gratitude for Support and Resources
Speaker 1Thank you so much . Yeah , you have knocked it out of the park for us . You've given us resources , you've helped to provide understanding for how you do what you do , and I'm pretty sure you've helped someone recognize that there is a space and a place where they can get help and where the resources are comprehensive so that they are able to begin the healing process . So thank you so much for coming on with us today and for sharing . Thank you for sharing success stories and helping us to know it doesn't happen overnight , but it does happen . Thank you for the work that you do . You're doing God's work and you're walking out his will and being a blessing to so many people . Thank you .
Speaker 2Thank you so much . It's been an honor . I appreciate you .