DARING 2 B U
DARING 2 B U
LET'S TALK ABOUT MONEY: SHIFTING MINDSETS ABOUT FINANCIAL STEWARDSHIP
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Unlock the secrets to financial well-being and emotional intelligence with South Africa's own Lelo Mashatile and Dr. Latisha Reeves Henry in our latest heartfelt discussion. Journey with us as we dissect the emotional chains of debt and the profound influence of aligning monetary habits with a higher calling. Lelo, with her wealth of experience in financial services and as the founder of Wisdom for Wealth, offers invaluable insights into the intricate dance between our financial health and overall life satisfaction.
Delve into the essence of reshaping your relationship with money, where self-awareness and personal boundaries become your tools for transformation. We share actionable wisdom like maintaining a money journal, embracing accountability, and confronting the tough cultural expectations that often lead to financial distress. Listen as we dissect how these strategies not only foster better financial decision-making but also pave the way to a life brimming with tranquility and focus.
In an empowering finale, we discuss the creation and inheritance of wealth, emphasizing the duty to educate ourselves and future generations. This conversation is a masterclass in cultivating a financial savvy mentality, ensuring that prosperity is not a fleeting moment but a legacy. Hear how the blend of continuous learning and candid family dialogues can revolutionize how we and our loved ones approach wealth. Join us for an enlightening session that promises to steer you toward financial peace and a clearer vision of true wealth.
Financial Stewardship
Speaker 1Greetings , greetings , welcome back . We are daring to be where our goal is to educate , engage , equip and empower others for them to be their best selves , for them to dare to be who God created them to be . And so we're here today . We have a treat for you today we're going to talk some serious business about financial stewardship on today , and so we have with us today Lilo Machitele , and she's coming to us from South Africa . She has a wealth of knowledge , she's studied and she follows the leading of the Holy Spirit and all that she does . And so she speaks from a deep wealth of knowledge and compassion and longing for others to be able to stand in a place where their finances are in order , so that they are not in bondage to debt , which frees us up to do and to be all that God says . Welcome Lilo , welcome , welcome , welcome . We are so excited to have you today .
Speaker 2Thank you , Dr Leticia . I'm honored to be on the show today .
Speaker 1So let's get into it . Financial stewardship , so share with us . Share with us who you are and tell us what is your passion work .
Speaker 2All right . So , guys , I'm Lilo , as Dr Leticia said . You know I am South African , born and raised in South Africa , you know , currently living in Johannesburg , south Africa , and I'm a mom to an amazing eight year old boy . You know I'm a person who enjoys nature . I love music , I love reading Matter of fact , I love reading , to overemphasize I love travel and I love God . You know I love God , I love God's word .
Speaker 2You know , and I think you know , for the first decade of my career I spent it in financial services , in life insurance and trained as an economist , but more recently I've launched my own business . It's been about a year and about five months now . You know . So I'm the founder of Wisdom for Wealth . It's really a coaching and an education service , you know , that really coaches people into financial transformation . You know , if I have to put it in short words , I basically take people from frustration to fulfillment by helping them work on their wealth and their wellness .
Speaker 2I think I'm really passionate about people doing well financially . You know my heart breaks when I see people work all their lives and at the end of their careers , at the age of 65 , when it's time to retire . You know like they tell people , you know , retire at 65 and people have nothing to show for it , right , and now they back into the care of their kids . And you know it , just you know . That kind of stuff breaks my heart and I think it's always broken my heart since I was a child . I just probably didn't have the words to articulate it or to even know the questions to ask .
Speaker 2But I'm really passionate about people doing well financially but also doing well emotionally , mentally . I think you know it's impossible for us to compartmentalize when it comes to life . You know you are one human being and so if you're not doing well financially , chances are there's another area of your life that is bleeding . And you know , often people want to fix the financial and I get it and I think that's important . But I think there's so much more to winning financially and achieving financial transformation than just working on the finances themselves . We need to work on you as an individual , you know , for you to actually flourish and be fulfilled in life . So that's what I'm passionate about .
Speaker 1Wow , and you hit so much there because most of the time we know that . You know it's true . There are different things that are part of society , that are part of the way that countries and cities and states are governed , that can create some hardships and some tensions . A lot of isms out there that help to really kind of keep people at a disservice , if you will . There are some systems that help to perpetuate lack . But outside of that , you hit the nail on the head when you said that normally when finances are the struggle , there are other struggles that are going on in the life of a person . And so how did you get to the space and place where you were able to really understand that and the way that you do , to be able to help other people ? Where did your principles of financial stewardship come from ?
Speaker 2I absolutely love that question and it's often , you know , one . People often assume I get it from textbooks . You know , having studied finances and worked in finance . But I got it from the Holy Spirit . I got it from the Holy Spirit because that's where I learned that most money decisions were emotional decisions . And then I went down this trail to just search this out and seek it out , and the more I spoke to people , the more I realized that indeed , what the Holy Spirit has told me is true . And of course , you know , the first word you'll ever hear is for you , it's never for other people .
Speaker 2And I had found myself in a space where I was making poor financial decisions . As much as I was educated and I was smart and I had all the knowledge in the world , I still found myself making poor decisions . And I , you know , I constantly have this wrestle and until that nugget dropped in my spirit to say no , but most money decisions are actually emotional decisions . So if you want to get that right , don't rush to fix the money . The money is not the problem , the problem is the emotions behind it . And so that , for me , opened up my heart , opened up my life . I'll never forget it , you know , because it's the reason I do what I do .
Speaker 2You know , I often say to people that the struggles that we see in our finances are like referred pain . Okay , so , people are bleeding financially , but the pain the source of the pain is operating is elsewhere . Right , it's like you're bleeding in one area of your life , but the actual problem is in another area , and oftentimes that's what I've noticed about finances is that people , people are struggling emotionally , right , and I'll give an example . So sometimes a person is overspending and in their mind it's like oh , you know , I've got this problem , I'm overspending . But they never stopped to actually check what's actually going on with me .
Speaker 2When I begin to overspend , right , how am I feeling ? When I begin to overspend ? You know what's going through my mind , what are the circumstances that are occurring around me that have me overspending ? And when I ? You know , just to bring back the curtain a little bit , I think for me my struggle was people pleasing , right , and even then that is a fruit and not a root . That's really the fruit of abandonment issues . Until I was willing to look at my need for acceptance and unmet needs , then I was going to continue in the cycle of overgiving and overcompensation and over pleasing , because just having that little bit of acceptance from people I was spending on was enough for me to continue on this hamster's wheel of overspending . But until I actually did the work internally to say you know what ? There's nothing I can do for some people to accept me . It's time for me to accept me and to really truly accept God's love for me . Then I'm able to put a rein on my spending issues .
Speaker 1Yeah , oh , that was rich , that was a rich . So how did you go about like , give us some strategies , how you went about changing , because I hear you saying that self-awareness is key in transformation . Yes , so share with us some of the strategies that you used .
Speaker 2I love that . I think you know and this is something that I often share with people that I've coached and you know that have been through some of my courses is really keep a money journal , right , keep a money journal . And I know you know because of self-awareness and you put it so beautifully
Transforming Financial Habits
Speaker 2self-awareness is . The key to transformation is that I know I don't go shopping when I'm hungry because I'm likely to want to buy stuff I don't need , because there's an appetite in me that's like you're hungry , you're hungry , so buy chocolate by this . So keep a money journal . Oftentimes and maybe you can do this over the period of two weeks right , where , every day , track your spending . What did I buy today ? Where was I ? Who was I with ? How was I feeling ? Right , don't think too much of it . Just keep keep writing that down over a period of two weeks or a month . I say two weeks because it works and at the end of two weeks I want you to go back and take that journal and look at can you see some patterns ? Right , I can guarantee you you're going to find yourself in a position where you look at the journal and you say , okay , every time I'm feeling sad . This is what I tend to do . Every time I'm feeling excited . This is what I tend to do , and then you'll see how that is pouring into your finances , right ? And that's just the first step .
Speaker 2Before you begin to do the work and to ask yourself why you're going to see the patterns , you're going to start seeing the spending patterns , you're going to start seeing and if it's got to do with a specific person , you know . So ask yourself what , why , who , where , how ? Ask yourself those questions . Okay , so what did I buy ? Who was I with ? Who was it for ? You know , where was I , which shop ? And then you'll start to see oh , every time I go to the small , I do this . Every time I'm with this person , I tend to overspend and I buy this in particular . And you'll start to see the patterns . And then I think , once you've seen the patterns , then it's time to get the work done . Right ? But even if you don't have a physical coach , if you can see the pattern , you can automatically place a boundary there to say okay , now that I know that every time I'm sad , I need to spend , then the rule needs to be when I'm sad , I don't touch my accounts , I don't leave the house . I stay home , yes , you know , and then you can come up with certain strategies to help you restrain yourself .
Speaker 2But the long-term solution , and I think the deepest solution , is always to go back and do the work , whether in the form of an accountability partner or in the form of a therapist , or in the form of a coach , so that the person can actually help you .
Speaker 2But accountability community , especially when it comes to finances , dr Letitia , I think the issue is that there's so much shame around money . Right , people don't have open conversations and the thing is about shame is that it's a barrier to transformation , right ? You can't heal what you hide , and shame makes us hide certain things . So , if you can find accountability in the form of a coach , in the form of a therapist , in the form of a friend , whatever , find accountability and begin to talk about where you're struggling , that's already a win in the right direction , because someone can hold you accountable to say , hey , did you go out today ? Were you with this person today ? Did you buy this ? You know , let's take it back to the shop , you know , kind of thing . And then you start to put a reign on yourself in some way . That's what I would recommend .
Speaker 1Wow , I love those and they're very practical . Those are very practical steps . Those are doable for anyone who is serious about making some changes . Now you've given us amazing strategy that anyone can implement if they want to really make changes . But what were some of the challenges that you faced when you were really first beginning to change your financial habits , your spending ? What are some of the challenges that you faced ?
Speaker 2I'd say maybe one of my biggest challenges was a culture change , right ? Because most of our financial behaviors we've inherited from society , from family and from what we've seen growing up . So when I was struggling and making the changes , for me the biggest struggle was , you know , adapting to a different way of living right , and really going against what I see people do in my life , in my family , in my friendships . So the hardest thing was holding boundaries , you know , not just setting them , but holding them to be like no , sorry , I can't come . No , sorry , I can't give you such and such , especially if you're known to be a people pleaser and an overgiver financially , people come to you knowing that they can rely on you . And the biggest change is being like oh , sorry , I can't help you this time . And it's like what Are you bougie now ? Oh , really , now you know . And then you know people start feeling awesome type of way about you . And you know I was just thinking today that fundamentally the thing about people pleasing is about getting to a place where you accept that it's okay to not be liked , it's okay to not be everybody's everything , it's okay for people to disagree , it's okay to disappoint other people , and that's what makes this journey so difficult is because you're going to have to face the emotions you've been trying to escape through overspending . You need to find a different outlet now . Right , overspending was how you meet your needs . Now people are going to withdraw their love and their affection from you sometimes if you say no . You need to find a different way . You need to find a way to actually deal with those emotions that you've been trying to escape , and I think for me , that was the challenge . You know it was .
Speaker 2The challenge was being misunderstood . The challenge was standing in my own truth and to prioritize myself , and I think how I overcame that really is by finding a different tribe , is by finding a different set of people who valued what I wanted to now become , because it's very difficult to do transformation by yourself . You need to do transformation in the context of community , right ? So it was really about finding a different tribe where now their values were my ideals . Those are the things that I now wanted to become , and so I didn't feel like an outsider when I was around them . But if I tried to make this change , and I did it alone , without the support of my friends and my family or people that used to enjoy the overgiving Lelo . Then it becomes a matter of being stuck in this place of isolation , and sometimes , when we isolated , we go back to the very things that we tried to escape . So I think that was the challenge . I think the challenge as well .
Speaker 2Another challenge was really sticking to what I said I was going to do . Right , I had to become the kind of person that I could give myself my own word and I could keep it , because initially what I used to do was to put lots of money . If I have a windfall or something , I'd put lots of money into a savings account and I had lots of those when I was a student in university because I'd get these good grades and they'd give me all my scholarship money back for spending and I would put that in an account . And as soon as there was an emergency even if it wasn't my emergency right , even if it wasn't mine personally if somebody was connected to me and they needed something , I used to withdraw my money . I used to withdraw my own money and I needed to get to a place where I could keep my own word to myself . So discipline was a challenge , but it was something I needed to be committed to working through over and over again .
Speaker 2And then I think another challenge now was you know , sometimes , when you're used to not having enough or not having money , you seldom think about what you're going to do when you have it . You know what you want to buy , but you don't know how you're going to multiply it . Sometimes , when you're on the journey to making money , you forget that after making money , the next step is how to manage it , and after managing , it's how to multiply . And I didn't think further enough . So I constantly used to have to move backwards to be like okay , let me learn how to manage and then move on to learning about how to multiply .
Speaker 2And that included learning new skills . Right , I needed to learn about investing . I need to learn about certain savings accounts and what are the interest rates and what are the benefits of keeping it here . What is a tax-free savings account ? What is a what's cryptocurrency ? Right , and I always encourage anybody that hopes to be wealthy , even if you don't have all the money you want to have right now . I would always encourage people to read financial books . Study , yeah , because by the time you have the money , sometimes it's too late to figure out what to do with it . By that time you're just doing an autopilot , what you learned growing up . So I think I've said a lot .
Speaker 1That's good . That's good and I love that , because we need more information and we need to know what to do with the information that we have . Yeah , and you sharing with us that , like I can visualize doing those things for myself . I can do those things for myself , and it helps us to become proactive instead of reactive , because when we're always reactive , like you said , any emergency that comes up , anything that comes up , we're willing to respond , and so then we start allowing other people's dysfunction to become our emergency , exactly , and that doesn't help them , that enables them and it certainly doesn't help us . And I know all about that because I'm a recovering people pleaser . Yeah , so I understand that .
Speaker 1And trying to self-medicate by purchasing things yeah , so there are times where someone told me this years ago it's been over 20 years now but he told me he said deal with your stuff or it's going to deal with you . Yes , I was younger then . I didn't realize how much truth it was in that statement , and so you've helped so many people just by what you shared . Share with us some examples of maybe a financial goal that you set and how you , changing those habits , helped you achieve that financial goal . Yeah , Great .
Speaker 2So I think maybe a more recent one well , not recent , but was to take my son on a vacation and I began I'm a single parent , so I really want the best for my son . I'm the person that refuses to believe that I need to be broken single as a parent . I'm like no , it doesn't work that way . So for me , when it comes to planning certain things even holidays , I need to plan , and it was something I dedicated myself to from the beginning of the year . To be like okay , this is how much we're going to put away every single month , and if it means we need to forgo ABC , we're going to do that . Right , if we're not going to shop a little extra , we're going to cut away from certain things , then we're going to do that .
Financial Goal Setting and Stewardship Principles
Speaker 2But one of the things that helped me with that and achieving that particular goal was to actually pay the goal first Right . So the goal became a priority . It wasn't just a goal in my mind , it was a priority in terms of how I behaved financially . So every time I would have my money , it was like okay , here we go , we're tithing , we're paying ourselves first , we're saving , but we also are saving for this goal . Right , we're saving for this vacation and it's really a matter of prioritizing the goal and making sure that it's not something that I just have in the back of my mind . I think sometimes we're disappointed when we don't reach certain goals , because or maybe what I'm trying to say is sometimes we're disappointed but because we don't follow through all the way . It's not enough to just have the goal . You have to prioritize the goal for it to become a reality .
Speaker 2And for me it was from the beginning of the year . I knew the amount that I wanted to save . I knew where I wanted us to stay . I went down to even budgeting for the actual excursions I wanted him to participate in . I was taking him to a place where I'd been as a child . Right , I wanted him to go and visit the certain site and the certain attractions that I had visited as a child .
Speaker 2And I was like you know what ? I'm going to go and Google those things . How much does it cost ? I'm going to get the tickets . I'm going to write down to the T , because the thing is about money , is that it needs a place to go , and if you're vague about your money , you're going to wonder where it goes .
Speaker 2So even when I'm planning a financial goal , I am down to the T in terms of my planning to be like okay , this is what I'm buying with this , this is how much this costs . This is how much the Ubers are going to cost us if I'm not driving . This is how much I'm budgeting for the food , this is how much I'm budgeting for the shopping . And I'm like , I'm specific and I think something that also did help was not saving in my normal savings account , so I had a separate savings account that was specifically for that goal , because then that would mean that every time I get my money , my money leaves one account to go to the next account , so that I'm not I don't even begin to meddle with it on any occasion , and I think that that's what protects our goals as we journey through the year .
Speaker 1Wow , that that's rich , and that reminds me of something that you know we share a mentor , and one thing he always says is we've got to learn to hack ourselves Right . And so , in order to live in such a way that we meet the goals that we set , if we're going to achieve them , some things have to change , and what I heard you describe was a life hack . That was a life hack , so so share with us how has setting financial goals and being aware of your financial stewardship and creating that discipline how has that impacted your overall lifestyle ?
Speaker 2Wow .
Speaker 2You know I'd say firstly , goals keep me focused . Right , it's helped me to have a level of focus . You know , I met up with a friend earlier and she was talking about budgeting and she doesn't like budgeting very much because , in her mind , a budget means restriction . And I said to her no , a budget is just a guideline , it's just a roadmap to tell you money where to go . So it doesn't matter what you put in it , right ? That's why . That's why I'm not a big fan of just teaching people budgets and letting them think that's that's going to solve their money issues , because in your budget you can place things that have got nothing to do with goals . Just because you've written it down , it doesn't mean it's moving you forward . So , and for me , having financial goals has helped me , firstly , live well . You know , because I don't .
Speaker 2I don't want to be surprised by by where money goes . I don't want to be surprised . This is the time , this is Christmas time . I don't want to be surprised . I know it's Christmas . I want to have a present for my son . You know there's certain things that get done on Christmas . You know , you've got the Christmas tree , you're buying Christmas clothing , whatever .
Speaker 2I don't want to be surprised , because I think unplanned expenses are an invitation for stress . Now , we can't control everything , but I know that being a faithful steward over what I do have allows me to decrease the amount of stress that is in my life . Right , I can plan for certain things , I've planned and I've got things in place . But if I don't plan , then all I'm doing is inviting a whole lot of stress and overwhelm and just disaster really . So I think it's helped me live well in terms of prioritizing my , my , my emotional health and my mental health , but it's also just helped me , like I said , stay focused . You know , all through the year to be like OK , these are my goals , this is where I'm going , and sometimes those goals change and that's OK , but at least changing a goal is not the same as not having one Right . Changing a goal is still focus . It's just refocusing your attention on a different thing . So it's given me focus , but it's also given me a degree of peace . You know , you know to be able to sleep at night knowing that you know my cars insured . You know knowing that you know if I had to have a flat tire , I know who to call Right and , like I said , being a single parent , being , you know , a single woman . If your tire goes flat , I don't know how to change my tire , y'all Like , but I know I can call my insurer and within a few minutes they'll be by my car to help me change my tire . That works for me , yes . So having financial goals and prioritizing paying things like insurance and things of that particular nature has given me a sense of peace , a sense of safety . Knowing that if I locked my house and I left and somebody broke in and my insurance would be able to replace that . That gives me a degree of peace .
Speaker 2I'm not so afraid of losing my valuables , right , and just also knowing that I can give in peace , right , like it allows me to be a lot more generous , because generosity , I don't think is measured , is measured by how much you give . I think generosity is measured by how you give . Right , generosity is a matter of giving , not giving under compulsion , like the Spirit says , like the Bible says . It's a matter of giving because you really want to cheerfully . For me , that is generosity . But if I'm not planning my money right , I don't know how much I have to give . So everything is just muddled up . But if I can decide for myself to say this is a part of my giving budget . Then I've got peace because I'm giving and I'm generous and I'm happy . And then I've also got a section where it's like this is for personal development . Like you say , we share a mentor . That is a whole budget in my system For me , budgeting for my own personal development , my own success , my own growth .
Speaker 2That stuff makes me happy . But it's also made me a lot more fulfilled because I'm prioritizing the things that truly matter to me and life doesn't happen to me . I happen to life , and I think that's the thing about taking control of your finances is that life doesn't happen to you . And look , you can't control everything . Some things might catch you by surprise , but what you do have managed it well and that's all God ever requires of us . Stewardship is always about that . It's not about controlling what I can't control . It's really about controlling what I do have and making it , managing it and multiplying it in such a way that it produces peace and , you know , faithfulness in my life .
Speaker 1I love that . I love that . How , how can someone who's never been exposed to financial management and stewardship , who's not familiar with with self-discipline , who's not self-aware , how can they start on the journey ? Like , where can they begin if they've not had exposure to any of the things that we've talked about ? And let's say , they come into a little bit of a windfall you know a couple of thousand dollars but they decide that they don't want to just blow it off . So share with us what would you share with them to get them started on the journey , what baby steps they can take .
Speaker 2Yeah , well , you know , I think we're very fortunate to live in the times that we do , because we have so much information available to us , right , and a lot of it is free .
Building Financial Education and Generational Wealth
Speaker 2A lot of it is on the net , a lot of it is on social media . So I think conversations like we're having right now are important for that particular reason , so that people can know that there's people that can be trusted To guide you and to help you understand this area that really affects all of our lives . So I think , finding voices that you trust and that you respect to be able to teach you about this particular aspect or coach you at least , or , you know , give you a course or something of that particular nature , find those voices . It doesn't have to be me . There's tons and tons of people out there who are really giving good information . So I would say , get educated Right , get educated and get educated fast . But there's books , okay . So find some books , you know , listen to some videos , get some courses , just do something Right . And another way that you can do it is finding , like a financial planner , a financial advisor , because those types of environments or those types of people are there to really help you identify what your goals are . Okay .
Speaker 2So if you've got a win for , the first question you need to ask yourself is what are my goals ? What am I trying to achieve ? What do I want to achieve ? The reason people blow lots of amounts of money is because they were moving directionless , right ? So sometimes the decision is to just pause . Stop ask yourself where am I going ? What do I want to achieve ? Right , if it's paying your children's school fees , if it's building a pot of savings , if it's budgeting for a travel trip or something of that nature . Figure out what your goals are . Right , and you can have this conversation with an advisor , with a planner , with a coach you know , or someone that can at least give you some sort of guidance . You know , typically I know with in South Africa an advisor won't charge you to have a conversation . They only get paid from the products they sell you , so someone can actually help you develop a plan for the one for that you have . Maybe the best thing you can do is put it in a tax-free savings account until you figure out what to do . Okay , so always have an account ready that you can just park the money there so that you can figure out what you want to do with it .
Speaker 2While you're learning , at least it's still earning interest and you're still making a little bit of money on it . It won't be a lot of interest until you begin to learn and figure out what it is that you need to do . But I would always say , even before you make a one for , make it a point to learn how to manage finances Right . Like it's incredible how much we spend time on it . We spend time working or some people preparing to find a job so they can meet their needs and meet their family's needs , but nobody is telling people that they need to learn how to manage the money Right . It's like you're working all these hours to make money but nobody is teaching you what to do with it when you get it . It's like it's a recipe for disaster , really .
Speaker 2And so be proactive . Be proactive . Yes , you're going to find people who share bad information , but that's how information works . Right To read as much as you can when it comes to money . Listen to as many podcasts and shows about money as you can so that you can make an informed decision .
Speaker 2And then I want you to know that , when it comes to building wealth and building a life that you love is that it comes in steps . Okay , so don't one thing that I know that I was guilty of in the past and growing up in an environment that we didn't have much Sometimes you're rushing to put a roof before you've got a foundation Right and I got that from the Holy Spirit . He's like that's like having a roof and windows , but you've got no foundation . So , even though you want to know what your goals are , establish a foundation Right , and that would be things like having your emergency fund , having your your healthcare , having your you know the basic stuff that are your foundation . Have that in place because , believe me , if you don't have those things in place and you need them all of your wellness and all of your joy can go right out the window .
Speaker 2So , have your goals , but remember , build steadily , right , build steadily . Set a foundation . A house stands that high , a tree stands that tall because it's got deep roots . So if you want to go that high financially , you need deep roots , and deep roots meaning you need to work on the things that people don't see . It's having the backups , it's having the insurance , it's having sure . It's just making sure that you've got the stuff that if anything had to happen to you . You're sorted and your family is sorted and the people that you love is sorted . Then you can start planning for the awesome stuff that is like the tree trunks and it all looks good and everybody loves it . So think , think in a methodical way when it comes to building your finances . Don't always rush for what looks good . Sometimes it's the stuff that nobody sees that really secures your financial foundation .
Speaker 1Oh , that's good . That's good Because one of the things that we've been seeing here a lot in the States is that there are people who spend their lives working . They've been gainfully employed for a long time and something happened and they die , and what we're finding a lot of times is people didn't have any insurance that would help in the case of them dying and needed to be buried , and so then you have family members who end up having to set up GoFundMe account because of not having any savings for the person who passed away , sometimes because all they contributed has been to medical bills and things of that nature . So what you're saying is so important . I think we are not .
Speaker 1I know here in the States we are not taught , and it's very disheartening , with all the education that we get , even when you go to college , what have you that no one really keys in on financial education , and so now , just as you said , we have so much knowledge at our disposal .
Speaker 1At any given time , we can pull up the Google browser on our phone and look up just about anything that we want to know . But I've seen that despair time and time again and , being a minister , having to go to different funeral homes where I was called to to say can you encourage the family , can you help them to come up with a plan , because they didn't have anything saved up or the person didn't have any insurance . And so I love that . You said it's important to build the foundation . It is Because a lot of times , particularly when we've grown up with little , the first thing we want to do when we get a good income is we want to get a good place to live , we want to get a nice car to drive , but we don't have a 401k , we don't have a savings account , we don't have our finances in order , we don't have a plan for our finances , and one of the things that I found out the hard way is that if you don't tell your money where to go this is , you said you'll wonder where it went .
Speaker 1And I remember that as a college student about to graduate college and I was getting all of these credit card applications and people were willing to give me credit cards I didn't even understand what it meant to have a credit card and the compounding interests that comes with the balance that you carry over month after month . I didn't understand that . So I remember getting in some huge trouble as a college graduate with my first couple of credit cards and then being so disgusted with the stuff that I had purchased because it really didn't hold any value after I purchased it . Right , so what ? So you got some cute outfits , but nothing happened as a result of you having those outfits . They did not do anything to secure your future .
Speaker 1So learning financial stewardship has been a long , hard lesson , and many times what I've learned is that , down through the years and sharing with others is that in families there's a tendency for there to just be an ignorance about finances and a lack of discipline that's been passed from one generation to the next . And so how would you advise ? Yeah , that's what I was going to ask you how would you advise us as we are seeking to do better , I think ? How do we help our families ? You know ?
Speaker 2one of the things that I think are really important here . One of the things that I think are really important here is to understand that generational wealth is not just about the money that you leave behind or the assets you leave behind . It's also about the knowledge
Teaching Financial Literacy and Generational Wealth
Speaker 2that you leave behind . Yes , I've got an eight-year-old son . Like you would be shocked at the things that he understands , right , like , I went for a photo shoot recently and it was like an agreement for like 10 photos and I wanted extra photos and the photographer gave me a quote and when my son heard the prize , he was like oh no . He was like , oh no , we need to help him , mommy . And I was like what do you mean ? And he's like it's too cheap . How is he making a profit ? Right , he's like you told me that if I've got a business , I need to add more on what it costs me so that I can make a profit . So I don't believe you could be making a profit with that kind of money . Like , he needs your help , right . And he's eight , right . So we have conversations about investing and I've been telling him . He asked me what he's getting for Christmas and I said to him you're getting an investment . And he's like , oh , but you said the bank is going to spend my money and make it loans . And I was like , yeah , that's how they increase your money , right ? And so he's eight , but I'm engaging him with the stuff . Some of it might not land just yet , but I know that the more I'm vocal about finances , the more aware he's going to be about how it works , because I understand that there's no point in me leaving an inheritance for a person who doesn't know what to do with it , and I think most of us make that mistake . Where we've got the insurance , we've got the life covers , we've got all these amazing products , and you're building a legacy for people who don't know how to continue the legacy . So if you're going to build generational wealth , it's not just in how much you left behind , it's also the knowledge you leave behind . And so that's my first piece of advice when it comes to leaving behind a legacy and generational wealth . But something I also want you to recognize , and when you say that in families where you find , when people especially when you grow up and lack , the first thing you do when you get money is buy a nice place . You want all these nice clothes , and I think it's partly because poverty is traumatic . It's really traumatic to grow up in financial insecurity . So when people suddenly have money for them , they feel like they need to cover the shame that they felt , because poverty has got a way of making people feel like less . It's got a way of excluding people . People feel alienated . There's certain things that they can't access , that other people can access and that on its own has emotional implications . And that's why I always say to people you can't do wealth work without doing wellness work Like these things work together . It's important to work on .
Speaker 2What mindset did I inherit ? And then what emotions did that bring up ? When I teach people , when I coach people , I have a system where I say it's mindset , mindset and skill set . So the mindset is what needs to be changed . How are you thinking ? What thinking patterns , what limiting beliefs did you inherit From financial insecurity ? And the hard set is some of the unmanaged and mismanaged emotional baggage that you probably carry that is affecting your finances today . And that goes back to what I was saying about the people pleasing , and for me it was my hard set , but it was showing up financially . And then the skill set is what we're speaking about in terms of financial literacy , understanding investments , understanding property , understanding the different asset classes and things of that particular nature , because that's skill set and if you're going to see financial transformation through generations , we need to do mindset , hard set , skill set work all the time .
Speaker 2And this is my encouragement to anybody that's listening is that this is not a one time work . It's a continuous process . Matter of fact , the more money you make , the more you need to learn about what to do with it , and there's no pressure to know everything about every asset class , but pick an asset you like . Pick an asset you like , but the only way you get to pick an asset you like so you can invest in it is by actually studying the different asset classes . So I like businesses . I realize I'm a business strategist . I love helping people with ideas and the ideas work . So what do I do ? I invest in other people's businesses . I love property because I'm just like . I like nice houses . I like the fact that people can rent my property . So I buy a property and people rent my place . So you need mindset , hard set , skill set and all of those things work together . But I need you to know that generational wealth is just bigger than the money you leave behind . It's really about the knowledge that you leave behind , and if we can pass down knowledge , if we can pass down knowledge , if our children and our children's children can learn how we made the money , they can learn how to keep it .
Speaker 2I've heard people say that family businesses don't survive past the third generation because we're not doing enough to have conversations . My therapist likes to say that one of the reasons some family groups and some racial groups are a lot more successful besides winning through isms like racism and things of that particular nature is because they've got a culture in their homes where dinner is eaten at the table and everybody has to be there and people glean conversations from the dinner table . So you need to find a way of having these conversations with your family Now . I don't blame my parents for not giving me this information . It's very difficult for a parent who's been poor and who's struggling financially to teach you anything about money . They don't know what to say to you . They're stressed about it themselves . But it's our responsibility , going forward to say what am I going to do differently ? And I'm going to invest in my mindset and my heart set and even in my skill set when it comes to finances , so that I can actually see true financial transformation .
Speaker 1Yes , I love that because it's not our fault but it is our responsibility when it comes to healing and growing and challenging ourselves , becoming self-aware , creating a personal , a personal discipline for ourselves , ordering our steps and being able to create a plan that works for us , and studying to understand how money works , to understand how we spend and why we spend what we spend . I remember a season in my life where I wanted to look the part , and so I love that . You talked about how there is a shame , a feeling of shame surrounding lack and poverty and so growing up , in that I remember , even in high school , not being able to wear certain clothing or not being able to look a certain way , and so always feeling this sense of shame and trying to overcompensate for that in other ways . And we think that stuff just goes away as we become older . It does not . It just shows itself in different ways .
Speaker 1Right , and in spending is where I saw that , and before I knew it , I was buying everything , trying to look a certain way and present myself a certain way , because at church there were people who just they , just our word was they look like money , right ? Oh , they just look like money , they just look like they have something , and so they dress a certain type of way , and so I need to look the part . If I'm gonna work in the same atmosphere with these people , I need to look the part . If I'm going to go to church in the same place as these people , I need to look the part . And so , subconsciously , I set out trying to look the part , and what was so crazy about it is nobody was paying me any attention about whether I looked the part or not . And so , yeah , I'm trying to perform for people who didn't even come to see me . Yeah , and so that was a very hard lesson to learn , but thank God , I did learn it and was able to learn it . And you know , I like shopping , I like nice things , I like clothes .
Speaker 1But now getting to the place where I've had to understand that there are some things that have to change , and starting to make those changes and realizing how good it felt to not have the burden and the weight of that hanging over my head , so , yeah , what you are saying is so true , it's so true . I love that that you help people to view it in a manner that is very holistic . Yeah , and I think it's important for us to recognize that we talk about our faith and matters of faith and the word of God . The truth is that every part of our lives are impacted by other parts of our lives , and so we can't compartmentalize one thing and say , well , this one thing can't possibly have an effect over the rest of my life . It does , and the way that we spend and the way that we treat our finances has implications not just for us , but for our families as well , and so I think it's so cool that you are sharing with your son at such a young age , from a young age , sharing with him financial principles and stewardship principles that help him to understand that it's not just about money , but it's about honoring the giver of the gifts that we receive , and it's about honoring even our families and ourselves and creating legacy by sharing the wealth of information that we have been exposed to and helping them so that they don't have to live with the weight of not knowing and make some of the same mistakes that we've made . So thank you for sharing that with us .
Speaker 1Anything else you'd like to share with us before we conclude ? This has been so rich , so rich . Share with us anything else you may want to from your heart . I've really enjoyed this . I'm always interviewing other people .
Speaker 2So it's always it's refreshing to be on the other side of the world . I've always been a part of the community , so it's always it's refreshing to be on the other side where I'm getting the questions and I'm answering .
Self-Forgiveness in Financial Decision-Making
Speaker 2But I think a thing that I'd like to share to people listening is the importance of self forgiveness , especially when it comes to financial decisions that you've made that you're not proud of . It's important to forgive yourself . It's important to recognize that you know even the people that you look up to . They don't get it right 100% of the time . They've made mistakes . Matter of fact , some people are so proficient today because of the mistakes that they've made and if I could , I would bring everybody out of the shame and the embarrassment of poverty , because that's what keeps people hell bound . That's what keeps people in these patterns of overspending and keeping up with the Joneses and wanting to look the part . It's really because people have this unaddressed shame and unaddressed embarrassment when it comes to not having . So my encouragement to you is if you've made mistakes especially because you know in 2024 , people are going to be setting new goals and things of that particular nature it's okay to start over In your finances . It's okay to start over . Maybe you didn't get it right . Maybe you're like halfway through your career and you're like man I wish I had the information sooner . It's okay to start over . The fact that you're realizing it now is a chance for you to recover . So just know that there's always space for recovery when it comes to finances , when it comes to doing better .
Speaker 2And then one thing as well is and I'll say this again and again and again is don't just work on understanding how money works . I want you to understand you . I want you to understand your mindset . Understand your heart set . I'm passionate about healing . My mentor loves saying I just use finances to get to people , but at the heart of it , I know that if we will heal and do the inner work , then even the external things in our lives will begin to be , they'll begin to be , a lot better . Some of you don't have money issues . You've got emotional issues . Some of you don't have money issues , you've got mindset issues . And if you just sit down and do the work , find yourself a coach , find yourself an accountability partner , find yourself just a space where you can begin to do the work and the money will sort itself out , because I can guarantee you that the moment you begin to do the inner work , you will be more confident about who you are . You will be more authentic to yourself . You will know your purpose . You will know your line of work and , matter of fact , when God wants to give you your line of work that can give you wealth and help you to produce wealth , you will be ready and available for it . You will be the authentic version of yourself .
Speaker 2Some of us are struggling financially because we're chasing other people's versions of success . We're chasing other people's versions of what it looks like to be wealthy , and so you're stuck in a job that's not for you . You're stuck in a role that's not for you because for you , you've been told that that's the way to success . And my encouragement to you today is no , god's got the answers , god's way has got the answers , god's word has got the answers . But if we will just be authentic to who God has made us to be , I think wealth will follow .
Speaker 2I'm always encouraged by the scripture that says that silver and gold are mine . God says that . He says silver and gold . Silver and gold are mine , says the Lord . Right . He says I give you the ability to make wealth . He says I will teach you how to profit . God is the ultimate wealth builder , and I think his way . When you find your purpose , when you find your way , when you find your avenue , nobody can compete with you in your own lane . And so my encouragement to you is that as well is just to do the inner work . It's like a domino effect . It's a domino effect . Once you do that kind of work , you're running to your authentic self , you're running to your true interests , you're running to your line of work , you run into your wealth , your wellness . So we can't imitate when it comes to this journey . Right , and yeah , I hope that you guys will forgive yourself and start over . Start over as many times as you need to start over and work on this financial aspect .
Speaker 2One of the reasons I love speaking about finances , dr Leticia , is because it controls so many parts of our lives . Right , it controls what we eat . It controls the decisions we make and , if I'm honest , I hate that . I hate that this one thing is controlling so much . I hate that it keeps people in jobs . They hate . I hate that it keeps people from getting the kind of healthcare they need . That's the real reason I love speaking about money , because I feel like people are suffering unnecessarily all in the name of money , and so if we will just work on getting this right , I think our lives will just be so much more better .
The Blessing of the Lord
Speaker 2But thank you for having me . This has been fun . I really enjoyed it .
Speaker 1Thank you . You have given us so much and helped us to understand that once we get better spiritually , emotionally , that the other parts of our lives will follow , because that impacts how we see ourselves , how we see life . That has implications for how we live and for everything else that we do . And one thing that really helped me to really begin to key in on it was understanding that Scripture teaches that the blessing of the Lord maketh rich and addis no sorrow . And so if there is sorrow , striving , stress , attached to it in order to obtain it or in order to keep it , in order to look the part , in order to be included , in order to be on the list , that's not the Lord's way . That's not the Lord's doing , because he does not add the burden , some weight of sorrow .
Speaker 1Yes , life has its challenges . Yes , there are things that we have to go through , but the blessing of the Lord maketh rich but added no sorrow , and so we hope that you were helped . If you use and apply the principles , I'm sure that you will bring about transformation in your own life . If you need assistance , reach out . If you need to know where to look , reach out , because that's what we're here for , because transformation happens when we do the work . Let's do the work together . Thank you for daring to be , because in God the possibilities are endless . We do it His way and according to His plan . Be blessed .