DARING 2 B U
DARING 2 B U
SHIFTING MINDSETS ABOUT AGING: THE QUEEN-AGER'S GUIDE TO JOYFUL RESILIENCE
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When the whispers of ageism start to murmur that you're past your prime, meet Antonette Bryant, the force of nature who's rewriting the script on aging with her uniquely brilliant 'Queen-ager' philosophy. In this vibrant exchange, Antonette dismantles the myths that shackle us to an age-based destiny, sharing the zestful tale of her nonagenarian father to prove that life's tapestry only becomes richer with time and wiser perspective. We'll reveal how technology and cultural shifts, instead of polarizing barriers, are actually gateways to continual growth.
We also take you through the intimate seasons of life—where passions ebb and flow, but the essence of growth remains constant. You'll hear of personal setbacks transformed into roads to recovery or discovery, underscoring the might of community and foresight. Antonette's lively spirit dovetails with my own stories of job loss, bouts with depression, and the importance of embracing change while holding onto soul-nourishing traditions like family soul food recipes. Together, we paint a vibrant picture of resilience and the undying pursuit of passion through every twist and turn life throws at us. Join us to absorb the wisdom, laughter, and encouragement to live without limits, no matter the number of candles on your birthday cake.
Embracing Life and Overcoming Barriers
Speaker 1Welcome , welcome , welcome to another episode of Daring to Be where we engage , educate , equip and empower . Listen , you are in for a treat today . We have with us Ann Tenet Bryant , and she has awesome wisdom to share with us today . Listen , if you've ever thought I'm too old for that or my season has passed , she has a word that will encourage and inspire you today . Hello , ann Tenet , hello , hello .
Speaker 2Dr Leticia , thank you so much for those kind words . Thank you , thank you . I am so humbled by this whole event . I'm excited . I'm looking forward to speaking with you and to your audience as well .
Speaker 1Blessings and thank you so much for coming on . We're going to get right into it . Okay , let's go . Who is Ann Tenet Bryant ? Who are you and what is your passion or share with ?
Speaker 2us today . Wow , dr Leticia , I can tell you so many facets of who I am . I make a diamond look like a stone . I have so many different facets into who I am and what I do and what makes me up . But if I were to talk generally , I am a daughter , I am a sister , I am a mother , I am an auntie , I am a cousin , I am a friend , I'm a play mama , I'm a gg , I'm a grandma , I'm just a queen-ager . I mean all those things wrapped up into one . I'm a person that loves life . I love people . Every job I've ever had has been customer service related . Because I love people . I love interacting with people . I love making people smile , bringing out their best . I just love being me . I love enjoying life and the blessings that God has bestowed upon me . Don't get me wrong , it hasn't been easy , but through it all , if you smile , if you lead with a positive thought , everything else will roll into place .
Speaker 1Oh , I love that . I love that . I want to key in on a specific word that you said , so you can explain to the people what is a queen-ager .
Speaker 2Well , I don't want to share all of my secrets , because I do have my information and my shows coming out soon , so I will tease you with this piece . Yes , want to know . You're going to have to look me up and you're going to have to get online and check me out , so you got to pick another word yes , yes , I love that , but I will say just from the vibrance of your personality .
Speaker 1A queen-ager is someone who does not allow age and life to dictate who they are . That part and you show up with all the vibrance . Listen , your smile is contagious , your personality is a life-giving . So I'm going to define that as a queen-ager . Okay , okay , okay , okay . So what would you say to seasoned adults that feel like technology and culture or barriers that they cannot overcome ? Oh , absolutely not Absolutely .
Speaker 2I want anyone that is listening that has that thought . I'm going to need you to put it out of your mind , not now , but right now . And let me give you an example . My dad is 93 years old , or 92 years old , okay , 92 years young . His license plate on his car is 1D4L , mr Wonderful . Okay , he has had that license plate as long as I can remember . He is still golfing , he is still driving and he has a Facebook account that he's on regularly . He is constantly making little notes and adding things on , commenting on things . So if I , at 68 , would have an age barrier , he and my grandmother his mother , rest her soul will come and slap me . Okay , they are young at heart . They always have been .
Speaker 2My dad is I mean , he's so funny , you know , and I'm thinking he was . I called him one day just to check on him because my parents live in San Francisco and I said , daddy , what are you doing ? He said , oh , you know , I'm getting ready to climb up on the roof and move the satellite dish . I was like what ? My oldest son lives in San Francisco and I said , daddy , did you call Dre ? And he was like no , I could do it . I said , daddy Dre is 44 and he ain't got no business on the roof , let alone you get off the roof . I'll call him anytime of the day . He's picking weeds . You know I'm going to go out in the backyard catch some sun . I'm going to golf today . You know I'm going . He and my mom have this hangout spot that they go to every Saturday . They go to the club . You know , 92 years young . So I mean I'm talking about life . But to specifically answer your question with regard to technology , you can't let it stop you . What if our forefathers had decided they didn't want to turn on the light ? They wanted to continue to use candles ? What if they decided they wanted to keep riding a horse instead of learning how to drive a car ? There's so much automation and things that have come through . We can't stay stuck . It's our responsibility to move forward with the times , and so I feel like you've got to do something .
Speaker 2There was a point in my life where I'm thinking , oh , I'm too old to do this , I can't . A perfect example the group that you and I are both in the Daniels then the first group of people I got in with were much younger than me . They could have been my children and I was a bit intimidated . I'm going to put it out there . I was intimidated and I was thinking . Actually it was before the day I was in a book club reviewing relational intelligence by Dr Darius Daniels , and all the women that were in that group were in their 20s , 30s , maybe one was in their 40s , so I could have been their mom , right . So I said , well , you know what ladies , you guys are having a really spirited conversation . I'm probably not going to come back . The moderator was like oh , no , no , no , no , no , no , we need you , we need you . And that was like the first key , like okay , I'm not out of date , I have , my date hasn't expired . And so from then I kind of fired and started doing some things and feeling really confident .
Speaker 2It ebbs and flows . I have moments where I'm thinking is this past your prime time ? No , there is nothing that we can't do . God has created us to be our best selves and that's not to be stagnant , watching old reruns of Perry Mason , colombo , adam 12 , whatever it is that you like . It's not about that . God wants us to move with the time . He has not allowed us to get to the age where we are to go stale and get cobwebs , and that's the first thing you have to put in your mind . I am vibrant , I am useful , I am productive , but , most importantly , I have something to say and , as PD says , we are an answer to someone else's problem .
Speaker 2It wasn't said that until a certain age , okay , you didn't say okay , you're an answer . Until you turn 60 or until you turn 65 . My daddy and my mama are prime examples of people that are 92 years young they will be married 69 years on New Year's Eve that are doing their thing with their children , with their great , their grandchildren and their grandchildren and their great grandchildren . You know they're going strong , they're doing the legacy . We have a responsibility to the folks coming behind us to show them that life does not stop at 60 . It doesn't stop at 70 . It doesn't stop at 80 . In fact , one of our sisters in the den , her grandmother , is 104 and living long and strong . So I mean we have a responsibility and an obligation to continue to pour out until God decides it's time for us to come home .
Speaker 1Yes . And so anyone who thinks that , I would just say remember that you are not . You are not a card in the mill . You do not have an expiration date that part when you are outdated . None of us do right as long as we're breathing . God can use us . He has something for us .
Speaker 2Yes , indeed , I love it .
Speaker 1What I really heard you describe was living . Yes , whether it deals with technology or not , just decide , make the choice to live . It's our responsibility to live .
Speaker 2And Dr Leticia , if I may add . Not only is it important for people to live , it's more important that they don't just exist . We're not here to exist , we are here to live , we are here to thrive , we are here to be just vibrant and to be out there .
Speaker 2You know some days you feel like let me turn over , put the pillow over my head . Let that be the exception . Don't let it be the rule . Get outside and soak in that vitamin D . Get outside and connect with people . There are so many young people that don't know what they're missing by interacting with a seasoned person .
Speaker 2You know what I mean there's so much I learned from my children and my grandchildren . You know there's so much that I learned just vibing with people . There's a lot out there . We're not to . I hate that OLD . We're not seasoned . Okay , we have things to contribute . Who wants a plain bland pot of chicken soup ? No , you want a little smoked paprika . You want a little seasoned and soaked . You want a little garlic ? Yes , lime trove Girl , you want to put all that up in there . That's who we are . Yes , our youth are the pot with the meat and the vegetables , but we're the seasonings . That adds to the flavor , yes , and the wonderful finished product . You can't be young without interacting with things that came before you . Yes , firstly , you can't be seasoned without interacting with what's coming behind you . We've got to move with the times and I love that .
Speaker 1I love that because I believe , if we look at the biblical record , like there's evidence of that right , and so we definitely need that because there's a wisdom that comes with life and living , if we allow it . And being younger means that someone has lived your experience before . Yes , yes , and we ought not have to experience every problem . We ought to be willing to learn right from someone else .
Speaker 2Let us help you navigate through some of the symptoms . Yes , experience is a teacher . Yes , you can learn from experience , but there's also that might come of wisdom that can help you learn at maybe a faster rate , avoid some of the pitfalls and instead of being on the dirt road , you can be on the expressway , still hitting some traffic bumps and stops along the road , but not the ditches , not the mud pits , not what you would have ridden on on a horse . You could be in a Tesla and we can help you navigate .
Speaker 1Absolutely yes , I love it . I love it . So how can someone leverage their years of experience and insights to redefine their goals to align with purpose in their current stage of life ? How can someone do that Leverage their years of experience and insights to redefine their goals ?
Speaker 2Well , I think one of the things that I did was to see what made me , made my heart beat , what was I passionate about , what really stroked me and was like , oh you know . But I started writing down things that I really loved books , thoughts , ideas . And what can I add to that ? What did I learn from this particular author ? What did I learn when Iana Van Zandt wrote that book , you know , or wrote one of any of her books ? Okay , what did I pick up that helped me to move along ? Because I read her book in my 20s , 30s and 40s , so now , at 68 , how did what those words said help me ? Now , how did Maya Angelou's wisdom help me ? So you pick up those nuggets and you determine this is what helped me move along . What in this melange of things can I share with others that can help them on their journey ? Because no one wants to be suffocated . You does want to make their own mistakes , but I don't think anybody minds having a piece of wisdom added .
Speaker 2What did you do when you were a single parent , or when you were trying to navigate a male-dominated workforce ? Or what did you do when you were the first African American female president of your union ? These are all things that I had to deal with and wishing that I had had someone that I could have said , hey , can I get some wisdom from you ? And there were people that could help me . But imagine what it would look like if there was a cadre of people set up that could address the circumstances of your life .
Speaker 2Hey , you know what I need ? Someone to help me with unionism , being a union representative or being a member of a union . Who could I talk to ? Oh , antoinette was a union member for 40 plus years . Maybe I can go to her , but who did Antoinette go to 40 years ago ? You know what I mean . So there's got to be each one reach one , each one teach one . We've got to do that . It's our responsibility and I've always believed in that we live as we rise , because if we don't , we're violating what God's purpose is for us on this earth and we're harming the future generations .
Speaker 1I love that , I love that , and so that's always looking forward with purpose in mind . Absolutely yes , yes , and that helps us to thrive . That helps us to thrive . What are some strategies that we can use as we are maturing to combat the mindset or the feeling of no longer being valuable , to contribute in meaningful ways ?
Speaker 2I think an important strategy is continuing to educate yourself . Education never goes out of style , on whatever it is . Is it crocheting ? Is it ballroom dancing ? Is it line dancing ? Is it stepping ? Whatever it is , continue to educate yourself . Write down the things that really bring you joy and grow in those things . Don't be sedentary , that's one thing . Do not stay stuck in your chair .
Navigating Life's Seasons
Speaker 2Now I will tell you .
Speaker 2I'm one of the best at watching TV . Everybody that knows me knows I'm a huge sports fanatic . All my Bay Area San Francisco warriors , the Golden State Warriors , the 49ers , the San Francisco Giants those are my main three . But I'm a sports nut . Tennis , gymnastics , ice skating I'm riveted to the TV , track and field . But by the same token , how am I riveted to those things ? Because I learned about them and I increased my knowledge about them . My boys because I have three boys or three young men I don't want them to be offended that they learn sports from me and then whatever they picked up . Because I was sitting in front of the TV and my grandmother used to listen to the San Francisco Giants on her radio when I was a little girl and she always had them on and I think I got my sports love from her Because she , oh my God , you talk about a diehard San Francisco Giants fan . That was my grandmother , and from that just blossom sports . I'm a seasoned ticket holder for the Warriors . My dad is a seasoned ticket holder for the 49ers . He has been forever . I only have , I think , 15 , almost not quite 20 years in . My dad's been a seasoned ticket holder for forever , so you know sports reading .
Speaker 2I've always loved to read . So if I were to say something to the folks what's your passion ? What did you grow up loving ? Do you still love it ? If so , learn more about it . Because the crocheting I did at 19, . It's not the crocheting they're doing now . The dancing I love to do at 19 is not the dancing they're doing now . The reading , the authors they've all changed and evolved .
Speaker 2We have to evolve at the times . We can't afford to stay stuck in any area unless it's cooking , because I don't want no new , nothing . I want my grandmother's recipes . Yes , I want that good down home soul food , cooking . I mean , I want to be healthy . They ever so often you got to drop a ham hock in the green . You got to drop a ham hock . You got to go back to the old , because some of that does not go out of stock . Yes , but as far as our life and living , we've got to grow , we've got to blossom , we've got to continue to recreate ourselves , staying true to the original form but adding things . You know , they'll take flowers , orchids , for example , and they will prune them and hybrid them with something else . And it's a beautiful orchid nonetheless , but it's got different features and factors . Yeah , that's what I think we should do with ourselves Continue to bloom , continue to prune , continue to add variations of that orchid so that we become our best selves .
Speaker 1I love that . I love that because I always say if we're not growing , we're dying Exactly . If there is a living organism , if it is not growing , it will die Right , it will die out . So I love that . I love that analogy because orchids are beautiful , they are absolutely beautiful , and it's important , I think , for people to recognize that God didn't make us to just live in one season of our lives .
Speaker 2I'm so different than I was three months ago yes , you know , I mean , without going into detail the issues that I've gone in with my health and I'm so different than I was three years ago and I think it's important that we do have something to fall back on . If I may say , three years ago I was fired from my job totally unexpectedly . I went into a tailspin . I was depressed . I didn't know what I was going to do . Most of my friends had no idea how severe that depression was and one of the things I did in reflection was where could I , what could I have done to avoid or navigate in a circumvent better my situation ? I could have had something , a side gig , if you will , something to fall back on . I could have had some . I was so focused in my job and what I was doing , I wasn't looking left or right and when God snatched it from me , because it was a God move , my bishop told me at the time he said God fired you because you were not being appreciated , you were being tolerated . Those words were like watering me because my plant was done and I was like he said you have so many gifts . And then he started shooting off all these things because I was in the Bay Area when I was president of my union and it was a struggle . There were a lot of things that went on , but his encouragement , the congregation's encouragement , my friends and family really helped me through . I have forgotten about that . Don't forget what brought you to where you are . Reach back and take the nuggets of gold no , not even gold , platinum that brought you through and sold on that , because I was a hot mess , I mean . But on the outside , hey , how you doing . But I was crying to myself every night . I was so depressed I didn't have a plan , and one thing about it is you've got to have a plan . I've talked to a few of my clients that are really spurring me on to get my plan in order for 2024 .
Speaker 2Most of us have made the mistake of living day to day and we're not planning out or we're only planning out two or three days at a time . One client that I had told me she has a five year plan . Yeah , so I was like what ? And I mean , yes , it's generic and it's subject to change , but the fact that you've even projected five years in advance , that's something we need to tell our children . Don't live for the moment . What are you gonna do ? Have different plans , different ideas and avenues in case one gets flooded . Oh , I got a detour . Don't be stuck on that highway . There are detours available if we create them for ourselves and for our lives .
Speaker 1So I like that , because one thing that is gonna happen life is gonna be as alive as Exactly . Yes , I like that .
Speaker 2I like that .
Speaker 1So , knowing that it means that we prepare ourselves as much as we're able , more than unexpected , yes , yes , because the unexpected's coming , so we might as well have a plan to navigate it . Right , right . And I , like our mentor , always says we need to have a pain plan , or how will you deal with the painful situations and circumstances ?
Speaker 2So , yes , yes , yes , ma'am , I had never even heard that process until he said that , Right , A pain plan . And then when he was landed on , I thought , ooh , that makes so much sense . And then I went back in my head and said , ooh , if I had a pain plan for this and a pain plan for that . But you can't live in the past . That's one thing . Don't stay stuck in your circumstances . It's one of the things I help my clients . There is a better out there . Everything has a purpose and a reason in your life . Be a good , bad or indifferent Glean . What's gonna help you move forward . And like the wheat and the chaff , put the chaff out and keep going with the wheat .
Speaker 1Yes , yes , that's absolutely . One thing my father in ministry would say is eat the meat , spit out the bones . That part , that part that part . Yes , yes .
Speaker 2Absolutely , because there's something to be gained from every situation in your life .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , so is that one of the things that you use to mentor younger colleagues and create a more inclusive work or service environment to help them to do that ?
Speaker 2Absolutely . I think one of the things that I have , I was mentoring some young women to become union stewards prior to my termination , but I still speak with them and others in the union . It's important that they glean good information and that you give them the wisdom they need , the steps . They're still gonna make it their own , because no one wants cookie cutter . Because if we were gonna be cookie cutter , God would have made us all to look alike , sound alike , walk alike , shape alike the whole night . He didn't do that because there's diversity . But that diversity does not mean that you just say we have an obligation to the younger folks .
Speaker 2And I think for me , when I'm talking to people , I try always to look at it from their point of view . I always wanna know what they're thinking , where they're going and what their thought process is . What do you want to glean out of this situation ? And then we go from there basically pulling out their experiences and a little bit of seasoning of my own , because it's for their ride . They can't take my ride and I can't take their ride . Their journey is their own . My job , my responsibility , my mission , my purpose is to help them along the way for their journey to attain their best selves and their best life .
Speaker 1Well , so I see you as a bridge , as a bridge between generations , right Between people of different ages . Bridging old and new so that people understand is not either or it's both , and it's both , and yes , yes . So share with us what you're doing , what resources you're working on to support others who are seeking to discover or rediscover who they are .
Speaker 2Yes , yes yes , or discover the new them . Yes , I am putting together some content , working on some ebooks and webinar courses , but right now I'm doing one-on-ones . So if people are interested in coaching or mentoring in some area , that's what my primary focus is . However , comma , comma the word that I'm hearing , that I keep hearing , is onward and upward , so , in other words , it's time for me to move forward in my process , because I can't just talk it . I got to do it and put it together , so I am working on some things . One thing I tell people is every , every coach needs a coach , and so I have a coach that is working with me to help me get my content and things out there so people can know who I am and what they can do for their lives , because it's not about me . It's about each person seeking and finding what their kingdom or kingdom is and how to get there .
Speaker 1Yes , yes , I love that . And so , if we're going to thrive , if we choose to live , we've got to be willing to grow , to expand , we've got to be willing to step outside of the box . Yeah , what season of life we're in .
Speaker 2Absolutely .
Speaker 1Thank you so much for sharing with us today . Oh , my pleasure . Any words of wisdom that you want to leave with us in the prayer point , anything share with us from your heart before we sign off oh my let's see .
Speaker 2Well , you know I think about Jeremiah and for I know the plans I have for you plans to prosper , that you have to trust in the Lord and know that everything that has happened in your life , there's a purpose of it . I have had some situations that weren't great situations . I've been in an abusive relationship , I was sexually assaulted , I mean a lot of things . But you can't stay stuck in those circumstances . You have to rise . It's about redeeming yourself , from redemption to resilience . There is so much more in your life . It's a facet of who I would happen in my life , but I don't let that define me and I would encourage people if you've been through a situation because we all have I mean , let's keep it 100 . Everybody's gone through something , a dark period in their life , and it's not for me or anyone else to say how dark that period was or how you should get out of it . But if you're ready to get out of it , then you've got to recognize that there is something on the other side of that storm . That rainbow is waiting , but it's not gonna come to you like . Prince Charming ain't coming knocking on the door and neither is Princess Charming . You got to get out there and make your life what it is . People are waiting for you .
Speaker 2One of the things , like you said , our mentor says is we have an audience . We are an answer to someone else's problem , but we can't be that answer if we are the problem . So , taking nuggets of who you are and actually honestly harvesting the good and the bad , because all of that has to do with who you are , all of that is part of the puzzle that you are and we've got to , we've got to dig . It hurts , it's hurtful , but if we don't do it and we let scabs form , they're never gonna heal and we cannot be our best selves .
Speaker 2So I would encourage everyone to take the honest , deep dive . My bishop from California , he used to say it's time for you to do the Jacques Cousteau in your own life . And for those young people that don't know who Jacques Cousteau is , googling , I'm not gonna tell you . Go to addiction or encyclopedia . You may not know what that is , but y'all know . Google deep dive , deep dive . Don't do surface , because surface is doing a disservice to yourself and to those that are looking for you to be the answer to their problem .
Speaker 1Thank you . This has been so rich and such a blessing . Thank you so much for sharing with us . Thank you for the wisdom . Thank you , most of all , for always leading with your heart and allowing the spirit of God to speak through you to us thank you , it's my pleasure .
Speaker 2Thank you so much , dr Leticia . It was an honor to be here and I will be expecting you when I start doing guests and things .
Speaker 1Just know that there's a quick pro quo system yes , ma'am happy to do it , and so thank you all for tuning in , for watching pray , that you were blessed and you were able to receive the wisdom that God spoke through our guests . Until net today and until next time , keep daring to be , because with God , the possibilities are endless . Thank you and have a great day . Absolutely , absolutely .